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-   -   SF Check (http://www.socnet.com/showthread.php?t=126625)

Deepc 13 March 2016 14:27

SF Check
 
So another guy and I are vying for my ex girlfriends choice in a relationship. We dated last year for about 7 months till I did something stupid.. She called up old boyfriend who she has known on and off since 2004. Ok that's the backstory
He has told her consistently he is Army Reserve SF. Last year when she and I were discussing marriage he kept telling her he was deploying soon, may never see you again, he was going to Dubai...If he did it was a short deployment, with no workup, shots anything as he said he just jumps on a plane and goes
He is starting the same song now..Point is he lives and works in Houston, but says he drills with his SFG in San Antonio..
I asked her off hand several times what she knows. He will not give her a straight answer on which SFG, team or ODA he is on, or his specialty..Ive been around all service SF groups enough to know some of their make up etc, but I am no expert.
I'm not trying to throw this guy out as a poser yet, but things don't seem to add up and I'm trying to take the high road in all this.
Don't have a name yet, as he tells her not to give it to anyone due to security reasons and as we are in a very delicate situation, and I'm trying to keep things on an even keel, but if this guy doesn't ad up, I'm dropping the hammer
Would greatly appreciate any 411, this is a girl I will only see once in a 100 years and I love her very very much

deepc sends

leopardprey 13 March 2016 14:34

Take it for what it is worth, but sounds like you just need to find a new girlfriend and move on with your life.

Tripod 13 March 2016 14:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by leopardprey (Post 1058549272)
Take it for what it is worth, but sounds like you just need to find a new girlfriend and move on with your life.

Yep. Why keep throwing your hotdog down the hallway?

Also kind of hard to do an "SF Check" (title of your post) without a name. :rolleyes:

Second - IMO your motive (to throw a love 'rival' under the bus) is not worthy of getting an answer even if you had a name.

Deepc 13 March 2016 15:35

Well, because I love her, I was the wrong one instead of her as I turned a great relationship into a sewer pond, and please don't insult her as you do not know her, please respectfully. The research I did, was I seen only ARNG /1/19 SFG(A) and C/5/19 SFG(A, are there. He has maintained Army Reserve SF, not NG...Please gents do not dogpile someone, I came here respectfully as I always do. For you to insult her and our situation with no Knowledge of the details, its quite unnerving. I am not here for relationship advice, just some helpful info.

Astronomy 13 March 2016 15:43

So... you want some BTDTs to assist in your effort to cock block a romantic rival. Figure the odds. Not fucking likely.

Tell ya what. Nut up and ask the man himself. While you're at it, nut up and get your woman back. Or at least honestly lay out your feelings for her and prompt her make a choice. Let the chips fall where they may.

If she loves you, she'll come back. If she doesn't, you need to cut your losses and move out and draw fire. There's several billion other candidates walking the planet, despite your belief that the lady in question is "the one". We've all been in love or had our hearts broken. Your situation isn't really unique to anyone except you. Your real problem isn't him. It's her. And if you precipitated the current situation, I don't blame her a bit. She may have justly discarded the possibility of a future with you. I mean that sincerely and not in a mean spirited manner. That's difficult to accept when you're in the middle of an existential love crisis... but it's the truth. You may need to just move on with life, scarred but smarter.

Once upon a time, while I was swimming the seas and contemplating my latest lost "love", someone leaned over the gunwales and stuck a gaff hook in me while I was distracted. After they landed me on deck, they clubbed me hard. Been married to her ever since. Funny how Life works out.

This ain't a fucking Anne Landers column. And we aren't buddies. But I just gave you some primo advice.

Deepc 13 March 2016 15:56

OK gents, I get it..Sorry, sincerely so..I know you guys are not buddies, and your nor a dating site and I'm not asking for anyone to compromise their integrity at my expense in a love triangle.. Yes I have manned up, that's the first thing I did, . I would ask said guy all the right questions, but he is living about a 1000 miles away. I am not looking for info to cock block him..I said I am taking the high road in this, as I have learned a lot about personal Karma these last few months...If she kicks me to the curb I deserve it, but I do not want to see her burned by a poser..I did not mean to come across as a crybaby who cant handle his affairs, and I did not ask for anyone's info, just wanted to know if the basic stuff I asked for passed the smell test..

I'm the first one to admit I'm wrong..consider this done..again I'm sorry

deepc sends

v/r deepc sends

Astronomy 13 March 2016 16:03

Fair enough. Good luck. I hope things work out for you.

HighDragLowSpeed 13 March 2016 17:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepc (Post 1058549282)
ARNG /1/19 SFG(A) and C/5/19 SFG(A, are there.

Damn 19th Group guys....always trouble :biggrin:

If she leaves, it's a godsend.

B 2/75 13 March 2016 17:32

Whenever I found myself in a sewer pond, I got the fuck out.

The Fat Guy 13 March 2016 17:50

Soooo let me throw you a bone here deepC.

If this cat IS an SF bubba and he is saying he may not come back, especially from a trip to mother fucking Dubai? My 60 yo sister goes there on vacation. He is full of shit and we would sneak word to his chain of command.

Second, a google search will show you that there are no more SF Groups in the USAR, only Army National Guard. While there is ARNG SF in Camp Bullis, near SAN ATONIO, this guy sounds like he is full of shit.

Lastly, no one was disrespectful to your girl friend here. You brought her into our house, no one invited her here. My advice to you is not to downplay the competition, but to convince her you are the right one because you are the right one, not because the other guy is a douche.

Otherwise you will be doing this again.

Purple36 13 March 2016 20:05

If I may pop in with a female perspective? If I had been in a relationship with a man that I truly cared for (and had hope for a future) and he did something that made me have second thoughts-his telling me my current guy was a poser would not draw me back to him. I might walk away from both.

If you are able, sit down with her, tell her your feelings, why you want to be with her, acknowledge past mistakes/failures (if applicable) and that you are working on being a better partner (if true) and ask her if she still has feelings for you. Caution, some -actually most women have a hard time saying what they really feel if it is negative and have been trained to "protect" the guys ego and not hurt his feelings-so if the answer is anything other than a "yes, I care strongly for you and am willing to consider getting back together," than she is likely just trying to avoid hurting your feelings or trying to keep you as second string.

So it's pointless (in this situation) to point out the other dude as a poser (it comes off as sour grapes).

There, that is the end of my channeling of Dear Abby.

Tripod 13 March 2016 20:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple36 (Post 1058549345)
If I may pop in with a female perspective? If I had been in a relationship with a man that I truly cared for (and had hope for a future) and he did something that made me have second thoughts-his telling me my current guy was a poser would not draw me back to him. I might walk away from both.

If you are able, sit down with her, tell her your feelings, why you want to be with her, acknowledge past mistakes/failures (if applicable) and that you are working on being a better partner (if true) and ask her if she still has feelings for you. Caution, some -actually most women have a hard time saying what they really feel if it is negative and have been trained to "protect" the guys ego and not hurt his feelings-so if the answer is anything other than a "yes, I care strongly for you and am willing to consider getting back together," than she is likely just trying to avoid hurting your feelings or trying to keep you as second string.

So it's pointless (in this situation) to point out the other dude as a poser (it comes off as sour grapes).

There, that is the end of my channeling of Dear Abby.

Damn - just when I thought I might make it a full day with not reading something on SOCNET that made me cry.

Purple36 13 March 2016 20:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tripod (Post 1058549346)
Damn - just when I thought I might make it a full day with not reading something on SOCNET that made me cry.

I own stock in tissue....I make money for every tear you drop! :biggrin:

Sado_1 13 March 2016 20:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple36 (Post 1058549350)
I own stock in tissue....I make money for every tear you drop! :biggrin:

BAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!!! This made me laugh out loud, Thanks.

Second female opinion here-
MOVE on with your life, and please do it quickly. She obviously doesn't want you or is playing the both of you. Pick your heart out of the swamps you laid it in, pick your pride off the ground, get over your obsession with the dude, and move on. Besides, from a woman's perspective, if I were here and I am done with a dude, and he does some creepy shit like this when I do move on and find another….it will not only ruin any opportunity to reconcile but it would make me block you and never speak to you again(ruining friendship status) (and probably warn others of your weirdness). It's creeper status. You're thinking about this way too much. Go get a drink, smoke a cig, maybe do some laps, and call it a night.
Besides, if he really is an SF dude, I highly doubt you will win that battle against him. No offense.
Cheers- Jameson shots are a cure all.

Gsniper 13 March 2016 20:55

I was wondering when somebody was going to man up. Ironic that it was a female.

leopardprey 13 March 2016 21:48

Oh, great, now Sado's and Purple's Private Message Inboxes are going to be overflowing with members asking for relationship advice, and wanting to know how chicks think. :biggrin:

Silverbullet 13 March 2016 21:52

Or they could ask TFG. :biggrin:

Sado_1 13 March 2016 22:26

No..... These kinds of conversations make me nauseated. I kind of felt bad for a split moment there ... I felt a heart coming on ... Then I saw the last line of something like one in a hundred years? My response for this is too vulgar for some virgin ears.
Sure, I'll answer relationship advice. Baha!!! I cannot be held responsible for the outcomes! I come with a warning and liability waiver.

Guy 14 March 2016 07:01

I'm glad, I wasn't drinking coffee when I read this::redface::biggrin:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silverbullet (Post 1058549370)
Or they could ask TFG. :biggrin:


PACE 14 March 2016 14:20

Let me get this straight.
You are a retired Senior Chief and you come on here asking for information to cock block a love rival?
Are you kidding me?
Grow a pair.
You're acting like a fucking 15 year old.


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