SOCNET

Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 18 June 2018, 22:49
pavegnr's Avatar
pavegnr pavegnr is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: bama
Posts: 1,087
I look in the mirror and say God I hate shaving. Start growing the beard and it itches like Hell. It is a no win situation. I am like a few others here, I use clippers and say the guy in the mirror needed to shave worse than I did so I let him have.
__________________
"Life is hard. It's even harder if you're stupid." John Wayne

William Tecumseh Sherman-
I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 18 June 2018, 23:48
Mac's Avatar
Mac Mac is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,208
I usually ponder meaning of life and things like "How does a blind guy know when to stop wiping his ass?" You know important shit like that. I mean, what if I go blind?

I like the Dollar Shave club. They deliver the shit to my house. Blades and those amazing One Wipe Charlies. Dont be fooled by the clever marketing, sometimes it takes more than one wipe. Just sayin'
__________________

There are two kinds of people in this world,
the smart and lazy, and the stupid and industrious. Be wary of the stupid and industrious, they will fuck something up every time.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 19 June 2018, 00:38
maim maim is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 627
The Alexander the Great Armies, visited a few of their forts in 'stan, used to pluck their whiskers, but then again he promulgated but fucking your oppo, I'll stick with a brush, Italian soap and a straight razor.
__________________
"I believe that a knife should be bright and highly polished for the reason that 20% of the fight is lost by not striking awe in the mind of the victim that a flashing knife gives."
William Fairbairn
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 19 June 2018, 07:09
Mingo Kane's Avatar
Mingo Kane Mingo Kane is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac View Post
I usually ponder meaning of life and things like "How does a blind guy know when to stop wiping his ass?" You know important shit like that. I mean, what if I go blind?
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 19 June 2018, 08:43
Janitor Janitor is offline
Ghey floor sweeper
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Bottom Feeding
Posts: 2,612
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
The depth of knowledge on SOCNET...
__________________
FKA Azatty
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 19 June 2018, 08:55
leopardprey's Avatar
leopardprey leopardprey is online now
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 14,432
Mingo and Mac,

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/VAMentalHealthGroup.asp
__________________
"Look Sharp, Act Sharp, Be Sharp - But don't cut yourself!"
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:08
Mingo Kane's Avatar
Mingo Kane Mingo Kane is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,738
Ya'll about some hateful sonsabitches...the man asked a question and I applied my shaving thought knowledge.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:13
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,824
I looked at the toilet and thought my wife really needs to clean it.
__________________
Support SOCNET.

It don't come easy.--Ringo Starr

"And all that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters."--Gordon Lightfoot.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:32
Mingo Kane's Avatar
Mingo Kane Mingo Kane is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Expatmedic View Post
I looked at the toilet and thought my wife really needs to clean it.
Did you march right out and bring it to her attention in a gruff manly-man kinda way? Or did you notice the poo poo stains and say fuck it, she'll get to it eventually? Or did you go the KidA route by asking the wife to bring you your latex gloves so your hands wouldn't get all stinky while you cleaned the shitter?
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:38
Boats Boats is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: NE Texas
Posts: 667
Goddamn...as I get older, that snotlocker has really grown..so has the ears...don't forget to pluck the hair outta the ears when yer through..
Reply With Quote
  #71  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:59
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
Did you march right out and bring it to her attention in a gruff manly-man kinda way? Or did you notice the poo poo stains and say fuck it, she'll get to it eventually? Or did you go the KidA route by asking the wife to bring you your latex gloves so your hands wouldn't get all stinky while you cleaned the shitter?
I chose the manly fuck it route. No sense on upsetting the apple cart with my birthday and Christmas so close.
__________________
Support SOCNET.

It don't come easy.--Ringo Starr

"And all that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters."--Gordon Lightfoot.
Reply With Quote
  #72  
Old 19 June 2018, 17:14
Mac's Avatar
Mac Mac is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,208
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
Knowledge of handicapped asswiping, goddamn. This is probably the most honest thread on Socnet. Well done sir.
__________________

There are two kinds of people in this world,
the smart and lazy, and the stupid and industrious. Be wary of the stupid and industrious, they will fuck something up every time.
Reply With Quote
  #73  
Old 19 June 2018, 18:38
Gray Rhyno's Avatar
Gray Rhyno Gray Rhyno is offline
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: NoVa
Posts: 10,279
Some days I look in the mirror while shaving and wonder what the fuck that old man is doing in my mirror...
__________________
"The most HSLD stuff ever taught was the basics. So-called 'advanced training' is often no more than the very fluid and expert application of those basic skills." - SOTB
Reply With Quote
  #74  
Old 19 June 2018, 19:20
Dino0311 Dino0311 is offline
Custom User Title
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Northeast
Posts: 13,025
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fat Guy View Post
Somehow this all seems very appropriate.
I want to pay as little as possible for shaving.
Reply With Quote
  #75  
Old 19 June 2018, 21:13
Oldpogue Oldpogue is offline
Old and Grumpy
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northern Cental Indiana
Posts: 1,946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boats View Post
Goddamn...as I get older, that snotlocker has really grown..so has the ears...don't forget to pluck the hair outta the ears when yer through..
It seems to me that the older I get, the more my nose and ears are intercepting the hairs that were heading for the top of my head
__________________
"Everybody is entitled to their opinion. Of course that lets in the crackpots, but if you can't tell a crackpot when you see one, you oughta be taken in." Harry Truman
Reply With Quote
  #76  
Old 19 June 2018, 22:28
JAFO's Avatar
JAFO JAFO is offline
33,024 - R.I.P.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: GA
Posts: 4,138
Random thoughts while shaving this morning...

It's the crack of dawn. What is the "crack of dawn"? Or, is it crack-o-dawn? Sounds like a dinosaur of some kind. I can hear Mike Rowe narrating something on the Discovery Channel...

"In the early Cretaceous period, and the Crackodon swims through the prehistoric oceans..."

Then again, maybe it's some fat chick named Dawn with a huge ass crack.
__________________
"Until Jesus gets into the gun business, there will never be a perfect gun.” - Will Larson (iraqgunz) RIP.
Reply With Quote
  #77  
Old 19 June 2018, 22:57
Akheloce Akheloce is offline
Six Minutes!
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Alaska
Posts: 592
Speaking of facial hair,

I had a job today that was in the proximity of an LEO drug task force.

I had flashbacks to my assignment to the CJSOTF in Iraq. There was not a single clean shaved face, and it looked like a 5.11 tac / Kryptek convention. Seriously, not one person had less than a 1 month beard. I chuckled.
__________________
RIP Sitka 43 and ICY 33

Seven … six … eleven … five … nine-an’-twenty mile today
Four … eleven … seventeen … thirty-two the day before —

"Just remember son, 80% of the people in this world are fucking idiots"- My Dad
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 19 June 2018, 23:04
MountainBum's Avatar
MountainBum MountainBum is offline
Vivat Fraternitatis
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: West
Posts: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akheloce View Post
Speaking of facial hair,

I had a job today that was in the proximity of an LEO drug task force.

I had flashbacks to my assignment to the CJSOTF in Iraq. There was not a single clean shaved face, and it looked like a 5.11 tac / Kryptek convention. Seriously, not one person had less than a 1 month beard. I chuckled.
Yeah but did you guys have Rip-Its.
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Old 20 June 2018, 03:17
1RiserSlip's Avatar
1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Po Dunk, WV
Posts: 7,055
Guess I'm old fashioned. Though my top is bald as Stone Mountain, Ga. I still go to my old guy local barber. I hate to shave.

My monthly includes cutting the few Homer Simpson hairs off the top. Clean the sides down to the ears to the scalp. A #2 blade on my gray/white beard. Eyebrows, ear hair the works. A straight blade around the ears, back of the neck and beard lined ear to ear.

Topped off with some smell em good and a $3 tip.

Thing is I don't think about anything at all but whatever the ole barber has on his mind. There lies the problem. He can't cut/shave and talk at the same time. Which turns a 5 minute job into 20.

But it's my ritual.

And he don't skin you up like Shaky at the old Victory Lanes Bowling Alley at FBGA.
__________________
I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody...

Karl Childers
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Old 20 June 2018, 04:52
leopardprey's Avatar
leopardprey leopardprey is online now
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 14,432
We need more barbers like that - a dying breed.
__________________
"Look Sharp, Act Sharp, Be Sharp - But don't cut yourself!"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:22.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
© SOCNET 1996-2018