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  #61  
Old 18 June 2018, 22:49
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I look in the mirror and say God I hate shaving. Start growing the beard and it itches like Hell. It is a no win situation. I am like a few others here, I use clippers and say the guy in the mirror needed to shave worse than I did so I let him have.
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  #62  
Old 18 June 2018, 23:48
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I usually ponder meaning of life and things like "How does a blind guy know when to stop wiping his ass?" You know important shit like that. I mean, what if I go blind?

I like the Dollar Shave club. They deliver the shit to my house. Blades and those amazing One Wipe Charlies. Dont be fooled by the clever marketing, sometimes it takes more than one wipe. Just sayin'
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  #63  
Old 19 June 2018, 00:38
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The Alexander the Great Armies, visited a few of their forts in 'stan, used to pluck their whiskers, but then again he promulgated but fucking your oppo, I'll stick with a brush, Italian soap and a straight razor.
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  #64  
Old 19 June 2018, 07:09
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac View Post
I usually ponder meaning of life and things like "How does a blind guy know when to stop wiping his ass?" You know important shit like that. I mean, what if I go blind?
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
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  #65  
Old 19 June 2018, 08:43
Azatty Azatty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
The depth of knowledge on SOCNET...
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  #66  
Old 19 June 2018, 08:55
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Mingo and Mac,

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/VAMentalHealthGroup.asp
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  #67  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:08
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Ya'll about some hateful sonsabitches...the man asked a question and I applied my shaving thought knowledge.
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  #68  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:13
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I looked at the toilet and thought my wife really needs to clean it.
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Winter is here again oh Lord,
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I hope she holds on a little longer
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Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again.
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  #69  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:32
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Originally Posted by Expatmedic View Post
I looked at the toilet and thought my wife really needs to clean it.
Did you march right out and bring it to her attention in a gruff manly-man kinda way? Or did you notice the poo poo stains and say fuck it, she'll get to it eventually? Or did you go the KidA route by asking the wife to bring you your latex gloves so your hands wouldn't get all stinky while you cleaned the shitter?
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  #70  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:38
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Goddamn...as I get older, that snotlocker has really grown..so has the ears...don't forget to pluck the hair outta the ears when yer through..
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  #71  
Old 19 June 2018, 14:59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
Did you march right out and bring it to her attention in a gruff manly-man kinda way? Or did you notice the poo poo stains and say fuck it, she'll get to it eventually? Or did you go the KidA route by asking the wife to bring you your latex gloves so your hands wouldn't get all stinky while you cleaned the shitter?
I chose the manly fuck it route. No sense on upsetting the apple cart with my birthday and Christmas so close.
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Winter is here again oh Lord,
Haven't been home in a year or more
I hope she holds on a little longer
Sent a letter on a long summer day
Made of silver, not of clay
I've been runnin' down this dusty road

I've been trying to make it home
Got to make it before too long
I can't take this very much longer
I'm stranded in the sleet and rain
Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again.
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  #72  
Old 19 June 2018, 17:14
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mingo Kane View Post
It's called the drag method...as long as the paper glides across the ass there's still shit to be captured, but when the paper starts to drag across (whether you're a pusher or a puller)--well, you get the picture
Knowledge of handicapped asswiping, goddamn. This is probably the most honest thread on Socnet. Well done sir.
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  #73  
Old 19 June 2018, 18:38
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Some days I look in the mirror while shaving and wonder what the fuck that old man is doing in my mirror...
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  #74  
Old 19 June 2018, 19:20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fat Guy View Post
Somehow this all seems very appropriate.
I want to pay as little as possible for shaving.
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  #75  
Old 19 June 2018, 21:13
Oldpogue Oldpogue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boats View Post
Goddamn...as I get older, that snotlocker has really grown..so has the ears...don't forget to pluck the hair outta the ears when yer through..
It seems to me that the older I get, the more my nose and ears are intercepting the hairs that were heading for the top of my head
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  #76  
Old 19 June 2018, 22:28
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Random thoughts while shaving this morning...

It's the crack of dawn. What is the "crack of dawn"? Or, is it crack-o-dawn? Sounds like a dinosaur of some kind. I can hear Mike Rowe narrating something on the Discovery Channel...

"In the early Cretaceous period, and the Crackodon swims through the prehistoric oceans..."

Then again, maybe it's some fat chick named Dawn with a huge ass crack.
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  #77  
Old 19 June 2018, 22:57
Akheloce Akheloce is offline
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Speaking of facial hair,

I had a job today that was in the proximity of an LEO drug task force.

I had flashbacks to my assignment to the CJSOTF in Iraq. There was not a single clean shaved face, and it looked like a 5.11 tac / Kryptek convention. Seriously, not one person had less than a 1 month beard. I chuckled.
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  #78  
Old 19 June 2018, 23:04
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akheloce View Post
Speaking of facial hair,

I had a job today that was in the proximity of an LEO drug task force.

I had flashbacks to my assignment to the CJSOTF in Iraq. There was not a single clean shaved face, and it looked like a 5.11 tac / Kryptek convention. Seriously, not one person had less than a 1 month beard. I chuckled.
Yeah but did you guys have Rip-Its.
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  #79  
Old 20 June 2018, 03:17
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Guess I'm old fashioned. Though my top is bald as Stone Mountain, Ga. I still go to my old guy local barber. I hate to shave.

My monthly includes cutting the few Homer Simpson hairs off the top. Clean the sides down to the ears to the scalp. A #2 blade on my gray/white beard. Eyebrows, ear hair the works. A straight blade around the ears, back of the neck and beard lined ear to ear.

Topped off with some smell em good and a $3 tip.

Thing is I don't think about anything at all but whatever the ole barber has on his mind. There lies the problem. He can't cut/shave and talk at the same time. Which turns a 5 minute job into 20.

But it's my ritual.

And he don't skin you up like Shaky at the old Victory Lanes Bowling Alley at FBGA.
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  #80  
Old 20 June 2018, 04:52
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We need more barbers like that - a dying breed.
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