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  #41  
Old 23 January 2018, 23:26
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Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1RiserSlip View Post
But, I kinda like my nighttime adventures.
Well shit Sar'nt, don't we all.

There is a post in the lounge that makes me think about my need to be there, why I was not, and wanting to renew my Paramedic license, ACLS, PHTLS, PALS etc. Some times I think about how I could have helped had I been there.

The last paragraph is retarded, but heartfelt.
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Winter is here again oh Lord,
Haven't been home in a year or more
I hope she holds on a little longer
Sent a letter on a long summer day
Made of silver, not of clay
I've been runnin' down this dusty road

I've been trying to make it home
Got to make it before too long
I can't take this very much longer
I'm stranded in the sleet and rain
Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again.
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  #42  
Old 24 January 2018, 00:00
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
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Get that shit outta your head. Think of all the people whose lives you have made a difference and the thousands of family members who would thank you if they had a chance.
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  #43  
Old 5 April 2018, 13:22
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Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
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Originally Posted by Expatmedic View Post
I wanted to follow up again and add more info. Many people have posted in this thread and via PM some I have never talked to. I need to thank you all for your guidance.

The Anafranil still gets the label of "life-changing". The only downside is I now talk in my sleep. No,really. Never in my life have I talked before, based on what GF's and 2 wives have told me. Now, I am still in a twilight stage of sleep and talking coherently. I wake myself from sleep while having lucid conversation.

Before the Anafranil I can say I might have had 1-2 dreams per year, now they are about 1 per 2-3 days.

ETA: I also was given a battery of questions admin'd by a post-doctoral, PsyD. She is working her magic on what it all means. About an hour of questions by her, then a 600 T/F test. Then a multiple choice test, about 850 questions not including her verbal battery.

I will post in this thread as helpful information comes up.

Thank you to ALL, you know who you are.
Here is what I now know.

Not one sign of BP disorder. No PTSD. That is the good news.

The bad news is I have every single sign of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Thankfully, CALPERS gives me a nice benefit plan with Kaiser and I have started a 52 week course of Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

I have started keeping a daily log noting emotions, stressors, triggers etc. Thankfully, I can hit a deep state of meditation at the drop of a hat, I just forget to do it.

I am 2 weeks in and still just learning how it all works. It is being taught by a Psychologist (PsyD) and LCSW.

Will post as pertinent stuff comes up.

If you are struggling, keep going and don't stop. I went misdiagnosed for a long time. As I have found out, there are a lot of options. Do not stop asking questions of your provider, be the best advocate you can be for yourself, get people you trust involved.

Feel free to PM as you like.
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Support SOCNET.

Winter is here again oh Lord,
Haven't been home in a year or more
I hope she holds on a little longer
Sent a letter on a long summer day
Made of silver, not of clay
I've been runnin' down this dusty road

I've been trying to make it home
Got to make it before too long
I can't take this very much longer
I'm stranded in the sleet and rain
Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again.

Last edited by Expatmedic; 5 April 2018 at 13:48. Reason: Delete content
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  #44  
Old 10 April 2018, 11:50
57Medic 57Medic is offline
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Happy to hear you are at least moving in the right direction. Best of luck, and again thank you for being brave enough to post this, you continues to help others.
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  #45  
Old 16 April 2018, 10:38
notdeadyet notdeadyet is offline
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Glad you have a more definitive diagnosis, Expatmedic.

Folks with Borderline PD tend to spiral down and face a lot of lasting bad consequences because of mis-diagnosis. Folks with BPD tend to be overloaded with medication due to misdiagnosis.

DBT is a tough slot, but it really and truly can be life changing (and often life saving). Approach it like you would any new endeavor (open ears and open mind) and you’ll reap a whole lot of benefits, as will those who care about you.
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