SOCNET

Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > Veterans Issues

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #261  
Old 21 June 2018, 20:27
Stretch Stretch is online now
The atomic zit
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Capital of the Old North State
Posts: 3,596
I remember reading about V.A.P. and his struggle.

I pray he rests in peace, and his friends and family understand his decision.
Reply With Quote
  #262  
Old 21 June 2018, 22:53
bobmueller bobmueller is offline
Did...did I do that?
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Green Country, Oklahoma
Posts: 1,665
Bloody hell. Grace and peace and strength to his family, friends, and colleagues.
__________________
This message is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
Reply With Quote
  #263  
Old 21 June 2018, 23:01
Dogwelder Dogwelder is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: CONUS
Posts: 223
RIP Travis.
Reply With Quote
  #264  
Old 22 June 2018, 00:51
Soutpiel's Avatar
Soutpiel Soutpiel is offline
Sardonic Fattist
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Cape Town/Cabo Delgado
Posts: 356
V.A.P. actually reached out for help in this very thread!
And apart from a few "I'm with you bro's" he didn't get the help he needed. Just emphasises the fact that the issue is more complex than what a thread such as this, in its current form, can solve and a re-think is required if you truly want to help your buddies in need. A Type A vet is not going to plead.
__________________
"A healthy dose of well managed paranoia can be your friend"
Reply With Quote
  #265  
Old 22 June 2018, 03:03
jasonglh's Avatar
jasonglh jasonglh is offline
Nurse Ratched
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Western Kentucky
Posts: 869
RIP Doc
__________________
Victory is the only end that justifies the sacrifice of men at war.

Col. Robert W. Black
Reply With Quote
  #266  
Old 22 June 2018, 08:57
The Fat Guy's Avatar
The Fat Guy The Fat Guy is offline
The Sagacious One
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Pushing string down the hall
Posts: 14,194
We need to go to them. Understanding the needed resources and difficulty in determining someone's actual mental state is hard to do on line. You also run the risk of ruining virtual and / or actual friendships if you are wrong. Sometimes you may seem like chicken little.

I'm sorry V.A.P. Hopefully you have found your peace.
__________________
No one will take better care of us, than us: Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Reply With Quote
  #267  
Old 22 June 2018, 18:06
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is online now
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,590
Damn, RIP.
__________________
Quick! Everyone!!!! Over-React!--Me

Support SOCNET.
Reply With Quote
  #268  
Old 22 June 2018, 20:57
CPTAUSRET's Avatar
CPTAUSRET CPTAUSRET is offline
BTDT
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Iowa City, Iowa...
Posts: 9,678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soutpiel View Post
V.A.P. actually reached out for help in this very thread!
And apart from a few "I'm with you bro's" he didn't get the help he needed. Just emphasises the fact that the issue is more complex than what a thread such as this, in its current form, can solve and a re-think is required if you truly want to help your buddies in need. A Type A vet is not going to plead.
I don't know how many may have reached out to him...I did, he did not respond. Below is what I sent him.



Damn brother.. I am really sorry to hear this.

I think there are no really good, quick answers. You need to focus on keeping yourself afloat. You need to come through this for yourself and your daughter. She needs a Father, she always will, you need to be there for her.

Things will get better.

My phone number 319 857 ####.

Terry
__________________
"IF THOU STRIKETH THE KING, STRIKE NOT TO WOUND":
Reply With Quote
  #269  
Old 23 June 2018, 07:57
Silverbullet's Avatar
Silverbullet Silverbullet is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bunker
Posts: 15,212
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soutpiel View Post
V.A.P. actually reached out for help in this very thread!
And apart from a few "I'm with you bro's" he didn't get the help he needed. Just emphasises the fact that the issue is more complex than what a thread such as this, in its current form, can solve and a re-think is required if you truly want to help your buddies in need. A Type A vet is not going to plead.
I reject your premise. First of all this thread is directed at those type A vets, not at the people who would offer help. Secondly, it's clear members were in closer touch than how you characterize it. Thirdly, no one could foresee what would happen to his daighter which appears to have re-triggered the issues that had been tamped down.
Reply With Quote
  #270  
Old 23 June 2018, 09:06
Purple36's Avatar
Purple36 Purple36 is offline
Swimming Upstream
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: East Coast
Posts: 9,521
I agree with SB.

We can reach out and offer assistance-we can stay in touch-we can be available-but we can't fix other people. And the hurting person also has to be willing to accept offers to connect.

I did a quick search for V.A.P.'s posts and it looked like he said he was getting help. Subsequent posts on other threads up to May just seem normal-posting about things like sports tickets.

The fact remains we can help with connection, we can help with resources, we can be friends and partners on the journey, but we aren't capable of "fixing" anyone.
__________________
- Faith involves believing in the veracity of the unprovable and unobservable, whether that consists of religion or theoretical physics, which at the very subatomic level start looking rather similar. -ET1/SS Nuke

Last edited by Purple36; 23 June 2018 at 09:16.
Reply With Quote
  #271  
Old 23 June 2018, 15:10
Sharky's Avatar
Sharky Sharky is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: SOCNET
Posts: 19,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple36 View Post
I agree with SB.

We can reach out and offer assistance-we can stay in touch-we can be available-but we can't fix other people. And the hurting person also has to be willing to accept offers to connect.

I did a quick search for V.A.P.'s posts and it looked like he said he was getting help. Subsequent posts on other threads up to May just seem normal-posting about things like sports tickets.

The fact remains we can help with connection, we can help with resources, we can be friends and partners on the journey, but we aren't capable of "fixing" anyone.

Well said.
__________________
I was born my papa's son
When I hit the ground I was on the run
I had one glad hand and the other behind
You can have yours, just give me mine
When the hound dog barkin' in the black of the night
Stick my hand in my pocket, everything's all right

-ZZ Top
Reply With Quote
  #272  
Old 23 June 2018, 15:28
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: sc
Posts: 5,913
I haven't seen the movie and probably won't but a couple of days ago I read the book Thank You For Your Service. I don't know any of the people described in the book, and I never visited Iraq or Afghanistan, but it was haunting to me for two reasons. First, one of the widows in the book seemed like a direct parallel to how I think my own wife would have behaved. Second, some of the symptoms the guys in the book demonstrated were way too personally recognizable and made me seriously rethink some things. My bad days in uniform were not remotely combat-related, usually being the result of catastrophic equipment failures, remarkably bad decisions by those around me, or just randomly being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I knew that memory plays tricks and dreams are annoying, but I had not previously connected those past events with slowly increasing memory problems (I had just assumed that was a product of the aging process) and sleeplessness. I swallowed my pride and had a long talk with my wife about it, and it turns out that she is even smarter and more perceptive than my dumb butt had previously realized. I'm blessed to have her.
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
  #273  
Old 23 June 2018, 20:45
Headhunter1965 Headhunter1965 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Tellico Plains, TN
Posts: 255
Breaks my heart...RIP
Reply With Quote
  #274  
Old 22 July 2018, 10:58
Dangerous's Avatar
Dangerous Dangerous is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,256
Bump to keep this visable.
Reply With Quote
  #275  
Old 22 July 2018, 13:15
Purple36's Avatar
Purple36 Purple36 is offline
Swimming Upstream
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: East Coast
Posts: 9,521
One of our former soldiers, a female SSG recently took her life. Donít know why. Her friends and leaders wonder if they missed something but folks put on a happy public face.
__________________
- Faith involves believing in the veracity of the unprovable and unobservable, whether that consists of religion or theoretical physics, which at the very subatomic level start looking rather similar. -ET1/SS Nuke
Reply With Quote
  #276  
Old 22 July 2018, 14:46
ramzmedic's Avatar
ramzmedic ramzmedic is offline
I really don't care
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hastings, MN
Posts: 1,629
I've been to several suicide prevention classes. Was the SP NCO for a while. I've never talked anyone "off the ledge" but if given the opportunity I believe I could. The key to helping is to actually help, not just say it. But there are people out there who will say they will help, and that's truly there only sacrifice, saying they will help. Many don't when the text comes or the phone rings. I've learned through my training and exposure at the VA that those who always say, "you can call me anytime", when it comes to drinking or drugs or suicide, unfortunately there are too many who never answer the phone or open the door when someone knocks on the door for help.

RIP Warrior
Reply With Quote
  #277  
Old 22 July 2018, 16:48
bobmueller bobmueller is offline
Did...did I do that?
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Green Country, Oklahoma
Posts: 1,665
Purple36, I'm sorry for your team's loss.

I'll throw out that when I was at my lowest and darkest, you couldn't have paid me enough to reach out to someone for help. Because as far as I knew, I was just a bother to everyone. Nobody had time for me. Nobody gave a shit about me. Sometimes, the ledge or the gun or the river or whatever is less scary than saying, "I need help."

Saying, "Call me if you need me" is good, and we should always be available. But we also need to be diligent about keeping an eye on each other. We need to look for the signs, not just expect the drowning person to yell for help.
__________________
This message is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
Reply With Quote
  #278  
Old 22 July 2018, 17:15
Agoge Agoge is online now
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sparta
Posts: 7,333
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobmueller View Post
...We need to look for the signs, not just expect the drowning person to yell for help.
There is more to it than simply looking for the signs. Many times, the signs are routinely seen but never acted upon. People need to become less afraid of offending someone rather than seeing them "cry" out and simply do nothing about it. If you truly care about them, then do something...even at the risk of making them mad.
Reply With Quote
  #279  
Old 22 July 2018, 18:03
CPTAUSRET's Avatar
CPTAUSRET CPTAUSRET is offline
BTDT
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Iowa City, Iowa...
Posts: 9,678
SOCNET taking care of it's own.

I know there are a few hundred thousand flight miles set aside and available to one of our own, whether the need is for themself or to use them to fly to help a brother/sister in need.

You won't find that kind of dedication anywhere else.

The contact point would be TFG.
__________________
"IF THOU STRIKETH THE KING, STRIKE NOT TO WOUND":

Last edited by CPTAUSRET; 22 July 2018 at 18:11.
Reply With Quote
  #280  
Old 22 July 2018, 18:09
Stopp700's Avatar
Stopp700 Stopp700 is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northeast
Posts: 2,222
Maybe the Admins should make a separate perm thread for this subject.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 22:58.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
© SOCNET 1996-2018