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  #1  
Old Today, 19:19
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gavin gavin is offline
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Barracks Lore...or, Military Tales and Legends Which May Be True...

This thread is for all of those stories or dubious facts, told by salty E-4s, as they try to impress the newbie E-2s, in front of an audience of captive E-3s.

When I was a junior troop, I heard plenty of facts about military life and history that probably should have been true, or, at least, could have been true. For me, these tales were heard around the warming barrel, waiting for the next LFX iteration, or while sitting around, rigged up, on a rainy day, waiting for SOMEONE to have the balls to CANX the jump.

Now, every Soldier/Sailor/Airman/Marine/Coastie has an iPhone with web access glued to their hand at all times...and I'm guessing the ability to fact-check sea stories hasn't changed a thing.

My favorite still has to be "Mr. Rogers was a sniper, had 75 confirmed kills in Korea," followed closely by "If you win the lottery, the Army has to left you out of your enlistment early."

So...let the tales begin...
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  #2  
Old Today, 19:26
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GPC GPC is offline
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Boot camp getting inoculated. The shot in the left nut with a square needle.

The Phantom shitter.
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  #3  
Old Today, 19:27
Gsniper Gsniper is online now
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Quote:
"Mr. Rogers was a sniper, had 75 confirmed kills in Korea,"
That one's made the rounds with Captain Kangaroo and John Denver also.
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  #4  
Old Today, 19:28
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Not really a story, but the old Atomic sit up was always my favorite joe humor barracks gag.
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  #5  
Old Today, 19:31
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Pele's Bucket of Fire?...never heard of it
 
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How about the tale of a venereal disease so wicked, if you contract it you can never return home to the states?
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  #6  
Old Today, 19:31
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Massgrunt Massgrunt is offline
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Black syphilis... it enraged me that guy's actually believed there was an island where you would get sent if you caught the dreaded black syphilis. No due process... just gone. "But AIDs patients don't get sent there? Seriously?!?!"

Edit: Spinner barely beat me!
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  #7  
Old Today, 19:32
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37F5V 37F5V is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GPC View Post
The Phantom shitter.
The Phantom shitter is real! That fucker was on Masirah Island in the Fall/Winter of 2001. Shitting in the showers, no less...
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  #8  
Old Today, 19:36
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Pele's Bucket of Fire?...never heard of it
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Massgrunt View Post
Black syphilis... it enraged me that guy's actually believed there was an island where you would get sent if you caught the dreaded black syphilis. No due process... just gone. "But AIDs patients don't get sent there? Seriously?!?!"

Edit: Spinner barely beat me!
VD so bad, your manhood turned pitch black, shriveled up and then just fell off.

I must have hit the save button just seconds ahead of you.
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  #9  
Old Today, 19:40
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Every damn Bigfoot story that was told by some yahoo in 2nd Batt.
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  #10  
Old Today, 19:49
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Ok how about the Basic Trainee that was left to buff the barracks and tried to commit suicide by tying the power cord around his neck and throwing the buffer out the window. Then the buffer smashes on the ground with slack in the cord doing nothing to the Trainee. The DI's then give the kid an Article 15 for destroying government property.
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Old Today, 19:50
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Always seem to be a story of someone in Basic trying to kill themselves by putting the cord around their neck and throwing it out the window.

When I was at Bragg 84-88(can’t rember exactly what year), there was a story of a Staff duty Officer being stuffed in a wall locker and thrown out a window...twice. He died on the second trip.

Edit to add: Joker beat me to the buffer story... must be true
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  #12  
Old Today, 20:00
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is online now
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Local story. How did that .380 Auto hole get in the tile of 1st Plt's hallway in 1276W? DH? Enquiring minds want to know?
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  #13  
Old Today, 20:04
CAVmedic CAVmedic is offline
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The Air Force gets sub-standard living pay when living on posts not up to USAF standards. That might be true.
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  #14  
Old Today, 20:42
BadKarma BadKarma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 37F5V View Post
The Phantom shitter is real! That fucker was on Masirah Island in the Fall/Winter of 2001. Shitting in the showers, no less...
We had the scumbag on the Nimitz in 1982 he targeted the showers and the handheld shower heads for the entire cruise.
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  #15  
Old Today, 20:46
doitforjonny doitforjonny is offline
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You can actually use a poncho liner as a parachute in a Typhoon off the 4th deck at Camp Schwab.....

Dude ended up on the front lawn...
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  #16  
Old Today, 20:50
KillRoy KillRoy is offline
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I had heard the one about the USAF crew chief in Germany during the Cold War. Supposedly, he wanted to go back to the States so he decided to steal a C130 one night. He had watched the pilots enough that he knew which levers and switches to push. He managed to get airborne and was flying around. The Air Force scrambled some fighters to intercept him and the had to shoot him down because they were afraid he was either going to defect to the other side or try to start a war.

I always thought the story was bullshit until i read this yesterday.

http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43800089
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  #17  
Old Today, 21:06
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I know that a young airman once took off in an F-86, flew around for awhile and then landed safely.

What's even more amazing is that after his punishment he was allowed to serve out the rest of his enlistment. That was written up in Air & Space magazine awhile back.
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  #18  
Old Today, 21:10
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There was a guy in my company in Korea who believed the lie that if you had a broken bone or were sick you couldn't be sent back to the States until it healed.

He was in love with a buttwhore. All his time and money went to her, and he got orders.

So he tried to break his own leg. Didn't work. Not sure if he got Article 15d or what but he definitely was on the plane to his next duty station, a little worse for wear, and dead broke and heartbroken.
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  #19  
Old Today, 21:15
Gsniper Gsniper is online now
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At least he didn't end up on the island of the black syph.
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  #20  
Old Today, 21:18
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Dude is like, guys, my wife sent me a tape from back home. Check it out! Dude plays tape. Wife is screwing dudes best friend while looking into camera, and says "Honey, I want I divorce!". Dude's platoon puts him on suicide watch.

Don't know how many versions of that I've heard, but hey, it was in the movie Jarhead, so must be true!
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