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  #21  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:15
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by firstshirt View Post
Reminds me of....

The first phase of married sex is House Sex - Doesn't matter where you are in the house, when the urge hits you're gonna go at it right there.

After a few years, marriages progress to the Bedroom Sex phase - On the rare occasions you have sex it's in your bedroom. With the lights out.

Finally, marriages enter the Hallway Sex phase - Any time you pass each other in the hall, one of you says "Fuck You!"


And for the record, we're at 37 years and counting. And not a "Fuck You" to be heard....

You forgot Make up Sex.
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  #22  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gavin View Post
I don't know that I have done it, yet. I've been married to the same awesome woman for over 25 years. I believe that marriage is a work in progress, and takes effort. Over the years, when we've gone on autopilot, the marriage suffers. When we put in the effort, the marriage benefits.

Same here. 39 years for us. My wife is the best thing that ever happened to me.


I got it wrong on a number of times; but I had a wife that helped me do it over. During my career, I averaged ~200 days a years deployed, TDY, etc. Longest stretch was 27 months; followed by a six-month 'break', and then another year gone.
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  #23  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:28
Gsniper Gsniper is offline
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I got lucky in another respect. My wife is three years my senior and married young to a real dipshit. He didn't beat her and stuff, just a world class oxygen thief. I had a low bar to eclipse to look like a decent catch.
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  #24  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:35
hdjohn hdjohn is offline
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Just had our 43rd and been together for 45.5.......How we did it is a miracle sometimes I think. We just refused to give up. Hardest years for her was when I was on the job, especially the UC work the last 5. As others have stated, a work in progress. Of all my siblings and most friends, we are the only ones in our family to stay together so long besides my mom and dad, who had 62 years before they died.
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  #25  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:38
Sgt Jeep Sgt Jeep is offline
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Been with the same woman since 1988, married her in '93. 25 yrs this yr and we still smoke and joke all the time. Best thing that ever happened to me. AND she is still hot AF! Blonde with freckles.

She was full-time for the 10yrs I spent contracting; f/t mother; f/t career; f/t house; f/t sports, etc... This woman supported me the entire time I was I was gone. I'd come home for 35 days every 3-4 months, and throw the entire house into chaos, then pop smoke, and repeat.

How do we do it? Open lines of communication; actually listening to each other; laughter; hanging out with each other; giving each other space; trust and respect.

Hasn't always been easy street, but sure hasn't been too hard!
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  #26  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:42
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I am waiting for Sharky to join in before I start taking notes!
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  #27  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:45
Gsniper Gsniper is offline
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Sharky's got 35 years, it's just been with 9 different wives.
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  #28  
Old 24 April 2018, 07:55
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Terry Welshan Terry Welshan is offline
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Been married 38 years, ever since a fatefull block leave in Battalion. I think the secret is to love each other, not the emo goosebump, I'm horny kind of love, but the non emotional choices kind of love spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 in the Bible. It has worked for us.
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  #29  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:04
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry Welshan View Post
Been married 38 years, ever since a fatefull block leave in Battalion. I think the secret is to love each other, not the emo goosebump, I'm horny kind of love, but the non emotional choices kind of love spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 in the Bible. It has worked for us.

Good passage Terry!
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  #30  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:15
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Well it's only been five for me but there's no indication it ain't going to last. We got married in a courthouse in Butte, MT after I took off work at 3 pm. I gave my employees the rest of the afternoon off if they walked over and served as witnesses. We've not even had a fight. Sure some yelling for dumb shit, but no actual fights.

I chalk it up to me being awesome and her not being American.

I dated American women, it must truly be horrible to be an American woman today. I get it, certainly not -all- of them, but also certainly on the whole, as a group.

They're constantly told they are 1: equal to or better than a man but 2: Inferior to a man. And 1: That motherhood is the greatest thing on the planet but 2: If they take time off to be a mother then they are inferior and backwards and kids are just fine at a babysitters at 2 weeks old. Hell they're fed the tale that the President was only elected because America hates women.

I think it also works because neither of us are big talkers, we are very comfortable in silence, she (and I) think modern society is completely fucking bonkers, we have similar humor, and make fun of the same shit: mainly fat chicks in sweat pants and chipped fingernail polish in public thinking they are Queens deserving of worship.

This morning sums it up:

Her (to me): What do you want for dinner?

Me (looking down at myself, then at her): I'm the man, you're the woman. You decide.

Her (to me): I am the woman so I want to make the man something that makes him happy!

I know married couples who would be in damage control and likely at the divorce lawyer for that exchange.
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  #31  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:27
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btq96r btq96r is offline
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I'm single, but my father has gotten it right, and is on year 25 with his wife. It's his 3rd or 4th marriage, so it took him some trial and error (and misery), but there isn't a time I go visit him that he isn't telling me how lucky his is that he has her, which makes me happy for him.

Good on all you guys who are well off from doing right by your wives.
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  #32  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:33
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This is the third time for me and we will be married 15 years this August. But I found the right one.

We have issues just like any other couple, nothing big, mostly small issues. We never ever EVER argued in front of the kids or loud enough where our kids could hear us. I would classify most of our disagreements as talks... Believe it or not, we have never had an argument over money. She handles the financials and if either one of want something, we save and then buy. Our debt is low, home and new car we bought in March(she wanted to keep her 14 year old car but it was falling apart), no credit card debt and both bills can be handled by my retirement and other “residual” income. We do a lot together but also allow each other the freedom to go it alone. Those two things relives a lot of maritial stress.
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  #33  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:37
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B 2/75 B 2/75 is offline
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I'm on #3. I know that makes me seem like a damn loser, but I can honestly say I never divorced anybody. Matter of fact I fought like hell to stop the divorces (counseling, etc), but the ladies always won out.

#1 went for 3 years, was amiable, no kids, no real estate, just split the marital property and go. No alimony.

#2 went for 18 years and was the Tzar Bomba that detonated on my balls, making me the genuine no-shit poster boy for how bad a guy can get fucked over in a divorce by a judge who feels that you have a "superior ability to pay." Hell, I'm still 10K in debt from the thing almost a decade later.

#3 couldn't be better. We've been married now for 8 years (really doesn't seem possible) and we're still like newlyweds. She'd never been married before and finally got hitched less than a year before retiring from the Army. Several of you mugs have met her... she's a sweetheart who's all about the fact that there's an Alpha in the house, and that's the natural order of things. That's not to say that i get a blank check; far from it. I am constantly working on things for us to do together, keeping up the variety. Fancy dinner out 2 or 3 times a year, 2 bed & breakfasts per year, thereabouts. Hikes in the Black Mountains, Blue Ridge, & the 'Shens. Waterfalls. Antique stores. The ridiculous drum circle on Friday evenings in Pack Square. Music festivals. Playing with the dog and walks around the lake. But most and best of all, just being together doing the normal, mundane things we take for granted on a daily basis.
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Last edited by B 2/75; 24 April 2018 at 08:42.
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  #34  
Old 24 April 2018, 08:46
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IronCross IronCross is offline
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***takes notes vigorously***
My dad and mom are still together and pushing 40 years. I know he reads SOCnet, so I just want to say thanks to both of them for setting a great example.
I'm less than a year in to married life, and doing a lot of learning.
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  #35  
Old 24 April 2018, 09:39
jhes160 jhes160 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gavin View Post
Over the years, when we've gone on autopilot, the marriage suffers. When we put in the effort, the marriage benefits.
Truer words have never been spoken. It's so easy to get on autopilot while both are working, raising kids, sports etc. etc. before you know it feels like you're just roommates instead of a married couple. A few times we've had to pump the brakes, have a talk and then on a whim just call the grand parents to watch the kids and get the fuck outta town, just the two of us.
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  #36  
Old 24 April 2018, 09:47
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Only 20 years. I married up, way up. She's beautiful, younger by 7-years, smarter, classier, stronger, and more successful. Instead of being a type A person, she's a type AAA with spread sheets containing pivot tables for our financials (to the cent and categorized) and a 12-month rolling calendar for our private-business lives (no exaggeration with Sunday night formation, kids included, to review the upcoming week).

In fact, I'm just her chauffeur, bed warmer, and pasta jar opener. She can leave me tomorrow without a financial downgrade. Anyone who says marriage is easy is either lying or not married. As others have said, you have to consciously work at it as there is no such thing as mailing it in with long term success. Finally, as I'm prone to say, a lot, "si senora." That seems to work quite well for me.
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  #37  
Old 24 April 2018, 10:06
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Dark Helmet Dark Helmet is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimo View Post
It was the best choice of my life.
Your wife is cool.
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  #38  
Old 24 April 2018, 10:24
MDH MDH is offline
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Hummm… 30 years this July. How did we get here.. .Not sure, woke up one day and I was old, fat, and married to a pretty hot lady. Guess the same thing that got me thru military training and life…refused to quit.
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  #39  
Old 24 April 2018, 10:40
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Married less than a year, so I'm definitely one of the "young ones" here and I'm not going to post any vain shit pretending I know something I don't.

I love my wife in a way that I never thought possible. She makes me believe that soul mates do exist.

I'm thankful to the Socnet folks who share life experiences for the rest of us to learn from... threads like this are the reason I appreciate this site so much.
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  #40  
Old 24 April 2018, 10:57
8654maine 8654maine is offline
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One common theme: do not take each other for granted.
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