SOCNET

Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 24 April 2018, 11:00
Devildoc Devildoc is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 1,782
Almost 19 years. Six kids and homeschooling, she is the Chief Financial Officer, the Chief Educator, the Chief Chef de Cuisine...list goes on. She is at home but works far harder than I. Sure we spat from time to time, no real fights, but we stay together because we communicate, our foundation is the Bible, and we share common goals.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 24 April 2018, 11:06
TennesseeDave's Avatar
TennesseeDave TennesseeDave is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The Volunteer State
Posts: 1,184
I had to get it wrong the first time to get it right the second. There was a lot of work and fighting in the first one and it sure as hell wasnt worth it. I swore Iíd never get married again, but I didnít know what true love was until I met my current wife. We have different views politically, but we respect one another and choose not to argue about it. We never fight and completely support one another. Basically everything that was wrong in the first one is right in the second.

And we met on match.com.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 24 April 2018, 11:07
Agoge Agoge is offline
Just A "Less Than"
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Gone
Posts: 7,189
I am knocking on 31 years with my wife. She is my absolute "best friend" in every sense of the term. Always has been and always will be. I never let her forget that because I make an effort to remind her of it every single day of my life. I wouldn't let her go for anything this world has to offer and she knows.

I am her protector and provider which means I do everything that those terms entail. She knows that no matter what, at the end of each and every day, I had her back and would let no harm come to her.

We are a team and we rely on each other. We know our positions in the relationship and honor each other in everything we do. That's what teams do...the members work together for the best possible outcome in each and every situation we encounter during our lives together.

There are times we disagree and like any other team you are on, you make concessions, work through the problem, and then drive on.

I hope to experience another 31+ years with her by my side. She is what makes me happy!
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 24 April 2018, 11:35
Chimo's Avatar
Chimo Chimo is offline
FIDO
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 3,124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Helmet View Post
Your wife is cool.
Thanks! Funny after we hung out with you and your wife, Deb looks at me and says ďthey bicker back and fourth like usĒ. It let us see what we look like to others, and if thatís how we come across Iím good with it. You two crack me up! People mistake us for arguing when my wife says fuck you to me. Nope just busting my chops.
__________________
Quote:
I'd shoot a chipmunk if it kicked my door in wearing a ski mask.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 24 April 2018, 11:45
bobmueller bobmueller is online now
Did...did I do that?
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Green Country, Oklahoma
Posts: 1,585
24 years in June, #2 for me. The first one (three years) messed me up more than I realized.

Almost pulled the pin a year ago. Announced a separation; I started looking for a place to live. Still not quite sure what clicked and made us change our minds.

Our biggest issue the whole time has been communication. Never assume your partner knows what you're thinking. Never assume you know what they're thinking. Especially not at the beginning, when neither one of you really knows the other.
__________________
This message is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:02
Shadow's Avatar
Shadow Shadow is online now
Problem Solver
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 4,581
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobmueller View Post

...communication...
Communication is the key, period. If a couple can't, don't, or won't communicate openly, honestly, and maturely, their shit is doomed.
__________________
"If you force me to do violence, I shall be so savage and so cruel, and hurt you so badly that the thought of revenge shall never cross your mind" --Machiavelli

"Oderint, dum metuant" ("Let them hate, so long as they fear") - Caligula

"Those that know don't talk and those that talk don't know."
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:06
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,358
I was married and divorced before I was 30. This marriage never should have happened.

Spent 20 years as a bachelor, whored around here and there, some girlfriends here and there, worked out of the country here and there.

Then asked some friends if they had any nice, single girl friends. And what do you know, they did. Liz and Shelly came through and paired me up with a woman that they felt would blend well with my sense of humor. That is all I knew about her.

But, they did great. I love my wife. She is stronger than me in some ways. She is a good balance, she is calm most days, her sense of humor is dirty, sarcastic, twisted etc.

I am very type A. She lets me have that until I run amok then tells me about myself, but in a way I can hear.

She is my strongest supporter. She believes in traditional gender roles, but easily takes care of anything the house needs.

She hunts, has an Elk to her credit, camps, gets dirty and is all sexy woman when the time is right. We have been married for 3.5 years.

She is the water to my fire.
__________________
All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters. Gordon Lightfoot.

Support SOCNET.

Mobile Intensive Care Paramedic. (MICP)
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:10
KidA's Avatar
KidA KidA is offline
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: WbyGV
Posts: 18,783
Quote:
Originally Posted by Expatmedic View Post
She believes in traditional gender roles, but easily takes care of anything the house needs.
My wife got tired of asking me to finish the bathroom since all I wanted to do was build dirt bikes.

So she's taught herself how to lay flooring, put up and finish drywall, put up cement board, tile the shower, use the miter saw to cut trim, etc, etc. All I have to do is get up from the garage to lift the heavy stuff and put the plumbing together.

Fair trade off. This past weekend she started putting drywall in the basement. All I have to do is get up and put the upper sheet in place (since she's only 109lbs I don't mind, especially since she wrestles the bottom 4x8' sheets into place and screws them in herself.

My only complaint is her titties aren't that big.
__________________
Hey homo, its me -- Andy/SOTB
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:16
B 2/75's Avatar
B 2/75 B 2/75 is offline
Old Scroll
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Black Mountains
Posts: 10,754
That's the last of your worries. Be happy that she's successful, independent, and active. Oh, and she's a cutie, too. You're good.
__________________

.
"To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee"
Melville / Captain Ahab
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:19
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA View Post
My wife got tired of asking me to finish the bathroom since all I wanted to do was build dirt bikes.

So she's taught herself how to lay flooring, put up and finish drywall, put up cement board, tile the shower, use the miter saw to cut trim, etc, etc. All I have to do is get up from the garage to lift the heavy stuff and put the plumbing together.

Fair trade off. This past weekend she started putting drywall in the basement. All I have to do is get up and put the upper sheet in place (since she's only 109lbs I don't mind, especially since she wrestles the bottom 4x8' sheets into place and screws them in herself.

My only complaint is her titties aren't that big.
I think it's cool as shit when women get in, do shit, get dirty, build and get shit done.

But mine has 34 DDD's, AND she makes sammiches.
__________________
All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters. Gordon Lightfoot.

Support SOCNET.

Mobile Intensive Care Paramedic. (MICP)
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:25
Football Batt's Avatar
Football Batt Football Batt is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Out in front of Wofford's Bde
Posts: 1,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA View Post

My only complaint is
All the good you had just described is lost on me when you end with something like that.
__________________
Sua Sponte --- every last one of them.
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:34
KidA's Avatar
KidA KidA is offline
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: WbyGV
Posts: 18,783
Quote:
Originally Posted by Football Batt View Post
All the good you had just described is lost on me when you end with something like that.
It's ok, she wants bigger titties too. She tells me she didn't get fed enough cabbage when she was a baby. Some old Russian wives tale that more cabbage = bigger boobs.
__________________
Hey homo, its me -- Andy/SOTB
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:35
57Medic 57Medic is offline
Darwin Award Presenter
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 851
Some great advice here.

Married X 2, the first one very young, and lasted 26 years, mother to my sons, and I am still friends with her.

Second one I have been with for 18 years (flighty right?). She is now besties with wife #1. No shit, goes shopping with her, invites her for dinner, etc.

My take is this. We all learn only one way of treating women, and that is usually by watching our own fathers, who either do it well, or not so well. As this is the only pre-education we get, it is not difficult to see why divorce is at 50%.

There must be more to a relationship than just "I wanna rip your clothes off" type moments, and more moments when you must actually talk to her, and spend time doing some things she enjoys.

Married couples also grow closer together and apart at different intervals. It all boils down to whether your relationship is strong enough to weather the grows apart stages.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:36
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,358
Ok, some actual advise that has worked for me.

If you get into a fight, argument, disagreement etc.

Swallow that huge chunk of pride that will gag you both into an eerie silence wondering who will apologize first.

I am almost always the first to offer a sincere apology. This does a lot to keep things happy. The apology is really for me, truth be told. I own my end of the BS.

This does not mean be a door mat.
__________________
All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters. Gordon Lightfoot.

Support SOCNET.

Mobile Intensive Care Paramedic. (MICP)
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 24 April 2018, 12:44
kosty kosty is online now
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry Welshan View Post
Been married 38 years, ever since a fatefull block leave in Battalion. I think the secret is to love each other, not the emo goosebump, I'm horny kind of love, but the non emotional choices kind of love spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 in the Bible. It has worked for us.
Yes - making it "not about me" is at the heart of what has us at a strong 27 years, and it's getting better as we go. A big part of that chemistry is that neither of us consider consider divorce an option, so we work very hard keeping things healthy.
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 24 April 2018, 13:51
billdawg's Avatar
billdawg billdawg is offline
Going cyclic!!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 2,662
Yep, I agree even after 28 years it's still a work in progress.
I'm a firm believer that marriage is a 60/40 split. IF BOTH people give 60% and expect 40% that goes a long way IMO.

Since we're bragging on our ladies, here's the latest picture we took, at a ball last year.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg IMG_20170916_211729014.jpg (21.0 KB, 220 views)
__________________
Be nice, until it's time to not be nice!
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 24 April 2018, 14:01
poison poison is online now
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: California
Posts: 3,403
I'm 43, been married 17 years, 2 kids. My dad was married 4 times, so I have a pretty awful example to live up to. It ain't easy, but I've matched my dad's record.
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 24 April 2018, 15:10
AMP's Avatar
AMP AMP is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 372
This last February was 33 years for us. Been through some tough financial times. Lost a number of family members and friends. Right now we are in a perfect spot. Financially secure, two great sons and DIL, beautiful grandson. I think you get into a zone with each other. Knowing what buttons to push and when to back off. Life is good and you need to cherish everyday.
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 24 April 2018, 15:17
TX teacher's Avatar
TX teacher TX teacher is offline
All Star Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 317
I've been married almost 15 and as with all things, there are good and bad things that happen. My wife and I said from day one that we committed to each other from then on and there was no breaking from that, no matter how angry we became. There have certainly been some rough times. Ultimately, we remember we are friends and love each other, despite getting on each others nerves and often times being miles apart in interests.

I joke with the kids I teach that the sign of a happy marriage is when the wife gives the illusion the husband is in charge and the husband acts the part knowing he had best not step out of line.
__________________
Intelligence has it limits, but stupidity knows no bounds.
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 24 April 2018, 15:23
Expatmedic's Avatar
Expatmedic Expatmedic is offline
Anesthetized User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 3,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by TX teacher View Post
I joke with the kids I teach that the sign of a happy marriage is when the wife gives the illusion the husband is in charge and the husband acts the part knowing he had best not step out of line.
I have always maintained that the woman runs the family and is at the heart of anything.

But, she lets the man be the man and calls him out on shit behind closed doors.

Men just occupy the office, women make it work.

I have known many women like this and they were all class acts and secure in their role.
__________________
All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters. Gordon Lightfoot.

Support SOCNET.

Mobile Intensive Care Paramedic. (MICP)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:06.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
© SOCNET 1996-2018