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  #1  
Old 24 August 2015, 12:04
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MakoZeroSix MakoZeroSix is offline
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Thumbs down AKO Clownshoes

So, I made the mistake of actually checking my AKO email this morning, which I am normally loathe to do. What I am greeted with can only be described as an epic level exercise in the most debased form of retardation.

As if my inbox isn't normally filled up with enough spam, now it has tons of angry and confused messages from random soldiers around the globe sent two weeks ago demanding to be taken off of some sort of distribution list. From what I can ascertain from the garbled ranting of these messages is that the Army is no longer content to merely disable your ability to send emails if you go over your limit, but it will now stop allowing you to receive as well and has sent this to people who aren't over the limit, resulting in utter chaos.

Other speculations revolve around a personal email from some guy who had his clearance denied pleading for lenience that is attached to many of the emails. He may have sent it to basically everybody in the US Army.

Regardless of the initial cause, everybody who has seen fit to reply to this message, demanding to be released from the distro list has had their message spammed to EVERYBODY, making it even harder to empty the thing if that was indeed the intent of the initial message.


Quote:
ALCON,

I WAS JUST INFORMED THIS IS A PHISING EMAIL AND YOU ALL FAILED MISERABLY. I HAVE S6 INVESTIGATING HERE IN KUWAIT. YOU ALL SHOULD RETAKE YOUR INFORMATION WARENESS COURSE AGAIN AND HAVE YOUR PRIVILEGES REVOKED. YOU DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL JUST NOTIFY YOUR S6 AND OR DELETE PERMANTLY IF NOT ABLE TO CONTACT THE PROPER PROTOCOL. I DO HOPE YOU DID NOT CLICK ON THE LINK. I DO BELIEVE IT IS A VIRUS.

RESPECTFULLY,

SSG XXX
(Soon to probably be an SGT after his wild insults and speculation)

Quote:
SERIOUSLY STOP REPLYING ALL TO THIS EMAIL.

DO NOT EVEN REPLY AT ALL.

CLEARLY NO ONE HAS BEEN REMOVED AND OUR INBOXES WILL CONTINUE TO FLOOD.

I REPEAT DO NOT REPLY ALL.

DO NOT REPLY AT ALL.


V/R
Quote:
Senor,

Lo siento pero no creo que soy la persona que desea enviar correos electronicos a. por favor me retire de esta lista.

Sir/Mam

I would highly recommend this DISTRO be destroyed. I do not believe I belong
on this list, however if by some miracle I do please do not hesitate to
inform me.
Quote:

EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!



STOP REPLYING!!!!!!!!!



DO NOT REPLY TO THESE EMAILS. DO NOT TRY TO GET OFF THE DISTRO. EVERYONE THAT REPLY'S IS JUST MAKING THE PROBLEM WORSE. EVEN WITHOUT "REPLY ALL" YOU ARE SENDING IT TO HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. IF WE ALL JUST STOP REPLYING, THE PROBLEM GOES AWAY. ANYONE WHO REPLYS TO TRY TO GET OFF THE DISTRO IS PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Quote:
the reason your getting all these emails is people keep replying to all - now you've done the same thing.



Thank you very little.

Oh, the humanity. No wonder why we can't manage to win a war.

If Joseph Heller were writing the modern version of Catch-22, this spectacle would undoubtedly be in it.
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  #2  
Old 24 August 2015, 12:26
GST GST is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MakoZeroSix View Post
So, I made the mistake of actually checking my AKO email this morning, which I am normally loathe to do. What I am greeted with can only be described as an epic level exercise in the most debased form of retardation.

As if my inbox isn't normally filled up with enough spam, now it has tons of angry and confused messages from random soldiers around the globe sent two weeks ago demanding to be taken off of some sort of distribution list. From what I can ascertain from the garbled ranting of these messages is that the Army is no longer content to merely disable your ability to send emails if you go over your limit, but it will now stop allowing you to receive as well and has sent this to people who aren't over the limit, resulting in utter chaos.

Other speculations revolve around a personal email from some guy who had his clearance denied pleading for lenience that is attached to many of the emails. He may have sent it to basically everybody in the US Army.

Regardless of the initial cause, everybody who has seen fit to reply to this message, demanding to be released from the distro list has had their message spammed to EVERYBODY, making it even harder to empty the thing if that was indeed the intent of the initial message.




(Soon to probably be an SGT after his wild insults and speculation)










Oh, the humanity. No wonder why we can't manage to win a war.

If Joseph Heller were writing the modern version of Catch-22, this spectacle would undoubtedly be in it.
LOL, I saw that shit show. A guy here at work somehow got himself included on the distro list. That was great.
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  #3  
Old 24 August 2015, 12:37
osubuckeye762 osubuckeye762 is offline
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I checked my AKOemail last week and discovered that I was included in the list for some unknown reason. It took me about 45 minutes to clean out all those messages.

For fear of what I may find, I haven't checked since.
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  #4  
Old 24 August 2015, 12:38
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Maverick Maverick is offline
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That's what you get for using your AKO email address for your Ashley Madison account
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  #5  
Old 24 August 2015, 12:39
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GackMan GackMan is offline
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The best is when one of those quiets down in the afternoon... and then all the people in Asia or Europe get to work and start all over again.
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  #6  
Old 24 August 2015, 13:20
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Alex F Alex F is offline
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Hahahaha that's epic.

Our IT cyber team sent out an email the other day that basically said we needed to go to X site and reset X password so that it would be in line with DoD standards.

Me, being the rebel I am who LIKES my current password, said "fuck that" and ignored said email and promptly forgot about it due to optempo.

3 weeks later we get ANOTHER email saying that everyone but 5 folks had fallen for their little phishing attempt and we all had to retake our training now... except for those of us on the list.
Well, my minor rebellion and forgetfulness saved my ass this time... hah.
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  #7  
Old 24 August 2015, 14:07
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Sigi Sigi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex F View Post
... except for those of us on the list.
Well, my minor rebellion and forgetfulness saved my ass this time... hah.
Winning.
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  #8  
Old 24 August 2015, 14:47
bravodelta bravodelta is offline
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I love it when these e-mails go around. We had a problem on the ship where people would forward chain e-mails to the distro groups. Not even phishing attempts or viruses, but the fucking annoying ones where Bill Gates will bless you with money. Anyone that was forwarding them had their accounts pulled, even the ones that were replying to all bitching about the e-mails.
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  #9  
Old 24 August 2015, 16:15
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Maverick Maverick is offline
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We used to send one around that when you opened the link, it would blare out on your computer speakers, "HEY EVERYONE, I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORN!"

It always made for a good laugh.
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  #10  
Old 24 August 2015, 16:38
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KW Driver KW Driver is offline
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I'm so very happy that my "Soldier for Life" status (because we're so very inclusive and considerate of the feels of all soldiers, despite our statuses) had me locked out of AKO the day after the effective date on my blue ID card.
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  #11  
Old 24 August 2015, 17:08
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Atrax Atrax is offline
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I love these. Had one come around the moronic oil company I worked at. My favorite were the smartasses who replied "One more for good luck".
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  #12  
Old 25 August 2015, 11:39
GST GST is offline
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The one I saw last week included traffic from a SSG lamenting his bar to reenlistment due to financial woes. Dude broke it down to the most minor details. That had to be embarassing.
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  #13  
Old 25 August 2015, 12:05
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MakoZeroSix MakoZeroSix is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GST View Post
The one I saw last week included traffic from a SSG lamenting his bar to reenlistment due to financial woes. Dude broke it down to the most minor details. That had to be embarassing.
Yeah, that was in about half of my emails as well.

But then you had other emails claiming it was AKO spamming everybody with threats to clear out their inbox.

and then you had SSG fuckface claiming it was a pen-test that everybody failed.
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there’s nothing in our country anymore that seems to suggest that selfless service to the nation is not only appropriate, but required.”
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  #14  
Old 25 August 2015, 15:44
Chemical Cookie Chemical Cookie is offline
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Thumbs down

Thank god I don't have to deal with that dumb shit any longer, though I did trade one goberment organization for another. After thinking about it, I may not be any better after all.
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  #15  
Old 25 August 2015, 17:02
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jdogonroad jdogonroad is offline
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Enjoyed AKO when I first found it at the turn of the century. Kept me in contact with old buds, and it was a resource center for old memory. BUT, it has gotten so stupid that it's not worth my "give a fuck" time.
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  #16  
Old 26 August 2015, 09:26
GST GST is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MakoZeroSix View Post
Yeah, that was in about half of my emails as well.

But then you had other emails claiming it was AKO spamming everybody with threats to clear out their inbox.

and then you had SSG fuckface claiming it was a pen-test that everybody failed.
SSG Fuckface, LOL.
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  #17  
Old 26 August 2015, 09:43
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EchoFiveMike EchoFiveMike is offline
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Ahh, this sounds like NMCI tens years ago. The more things change...
S/F....Ken M
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  #18  
Old 26 August 2015, 11:40
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Email Storms. We used to get them at State. Funny a shit.

Sorry you're in it, as it's a bitch to fix.
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  #19  
Old 27 August 2015, 08:19
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I'm so happy I was on a different list. I have at least 3 of my NCOs dealing with this nonsense.
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  #20  
Old 28 August 2015, 15:23
Aseptic Aseptic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
We used to send one around that when you opened the link, it would blare out on your computer speakers, "HEY EVERYONE, I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORN!"

It always made for a good laugh.
I remember a msg with a link with Homer Simpson saying "Hey everybody... I'm looking at porn over here.. woohoo"
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