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  #121  
Old 19 October 2016, 21:03
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I shared Soot's article with a friend who was an infantryman with multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. This is part of his response:

Deep and interesting. I agree and disagree to many parts of this synopsis. However, the final paragraph of this article suggests that service members want to connect and unburden themselves to civilians (I’m assuming on serious matters and not the fun “that time Fred AT4’d that goat fucker” story). That couldn’t be more incorrect because what do civilians truly understand about us? And nothing makes me more insane when a civilian asks me a question, locks in eye-contact, and attempts to have a deep and emotional moment with me on something they truly couldn’t give a shit about because if they did give a shit they would have signed up, grabbed a rifle, and stood a post
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  #122  
Old 19 October 2016, 21:30
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I wouldn't think speaking to the average civilian would be productive.
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  #123  
Old 19 October 2016, 22:09
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I grew up with/went to HS with a Recon Marine. There were times when he or I would call text etc daily. There were times, I was was worrierd about him.

Short story, I was always on the other end of the line.

That's all I have, "Be on the other end on the line.".
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  #124  
Old 25 December 2016, 20:42
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Bump. Just to keep it up front in case someone needs to talk.
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  #125  
Old 25 December 2016, 21:37
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The Department of Veteran Affairs cut the ribbon today for its new Veteran Crisis Line (VCL) satellite office in Atlanta allowing the life-saving hotline to expand capacity by nearly 600 Veterans each day essentially doubling VA’s ability to help Veterans in need - See more at:

http://www.va.gov/opa/pressrel/pressrelease.cfm?id=2848
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  #126  
Old 25 December 2016, 22:01
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We need to saturate social media with this information.


Callers dial the National Suicide Prevention Hotline number 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and Veterans choose option 1 to reach a VHA VCL Responder.

The text number is 838255 or

Veterans may chat with our trained professionals online at Vets.gov.
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  #127  
Old 18 March 2017, 23:08
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I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
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  #128  
Old 19 March 2017, 01:18
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SB gave me invaluable advice 10 years ago, for that Sir, I salute you. Never be too proud to ask for help, it saved my life.
Stay safe all and TALK to your oppos or even people you've never met, but trust, ie from this site.
God Bless,
M.
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  #129  
Old 19 March 2017, 07:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
Very sorry for your loss.
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  #130  
Old 19 March 2017, 07:35
8654maine 8654maine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
Damn. Condolences to you.
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  #131  
Old 19 March 2017, 08:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maim View Post
SB gave me invaluable advice 10 years ago, for that Sir, I salute you. Never be too proud to ask for help, it saved my life.
Stay safe all and TALK to your oppos or even people you've never met, but trust, ie from this site.
God Bless,
M.
Thank you.
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  #132  
Old 19 March 2017, 08:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
Sorry for your and his family's loss. RIP
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  #133  
Old 19 March 2017, 08:57
Agoge Agoge is offline
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Rest In Peace, Brother! My condolences on your loss, Dangerous!
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  #134  
Old 19 March 2017, 09:16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
Sorry for your loss... Damn....
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  #135  
Old 19 March 2017, 11:07
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First and foremost, My Condolences, Dangerous.

The more I read about this, the more I am convinced we need to do more reaching out. If you see someone acting a bit off, drinking too much etc etc. Go to them and make yourself a part of their decision making process. People who kill themselves decisively see no option for life. We have to somehow intervene before they reach this point of no return.
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  #136  
Old 19 March 2017, 12:00
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Originally Posted by The Fat Guy View Post
First and foremost, My Condolences, Dangerous.

The more I read about this, the more I am convinced we need to do more reaching out. If you see someone acting a bit off, drinking too much etc etc. Go to them and make yourself a part of their decision making process. People who kill themselves decisively see no option for life. We have to somehow intervene before they reach this point of no return.
Agree. Many times, whether it be pride or something else, people, especially Veterans fail to reach out for fear of a stigma being labeled on them. Sometimes you have to just say F it and intrude on them and their lives. The other issue is confidentiality. If someone comes to you looking for help then it is incumbent upon you to maintain that code, think of it as HIPAA for bro's also known as the 'Bro Code'. I have 2-3 very close friends that know my deepest, darkest secrets and I feel I can go to them with anything. They would help me bury the body before they asked WTF happened. The last thing anyone wants to see/hear is their dirty laundry being aired out via 3rd party. Rant over, time for me and my bride to go for our Sunday morning hike around the golf course & casino.
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  #137  
Old 19 March 2017, 14:02
ramzmedic ramzmedic is offline
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Originally Posted by Silverbullet View Post
I wouldn't think speaking to the average civilian would be productive.
I agree to a point with you SB but I also have personally sat with civilian VA Psychs and former .mil ones for my own treatment and have similar results from both. I've been interning at the St. Cloud and Minneapolis VAs off and on for a few years now and have seen many of our returning Warriors also get good treatment from these same Psychs; mil and civ. I do agree that a former military Psych can have an insight which a non-Vet could not, but the treatment is about the Vet and his/her needs being met. For every civ Psych who does not understand the combat experience there is a mil Psych who either never deployed or just looks at the Warrior and thinks/says "toughen up buttercup". There are also civ docs who actually have deployed. There was at least one civ doc at the "Stress Clinic" in Baghdad when I was deployed.

My latest training/intern work has been at the St. Cloud, MN VA. I'm working on my LICSW and spend as much time there as I can (to put time toward my 3000 hr requirement); they have the highest rated inpatient addiction treatment program in the US. There I have personally worked with Vets from VN to DS to OEF/OIF. I worked with a kickass retired SF MSG and he will tell you his mil docs at every step along his journey have failed him. Most were Vets themselves.

My opinion is that the ones who truly need to be Vets are the Social Workers and Addiction Therapists. The Vet has more contact with these mental health professionals than any other level of treatment provider. Unfortunately from my experience most of them are 25-30 year old girls. To me this is the level of treatment the Vet truly needs to work with someone who speaks our language. Even St. Cloud's RRTP has only one AT. All the SW's are young kids. THAT is an insult as far as I am concerned. I am embarrassed when I sit in a room during a session and some frail, quiet spoken, scared to death little girl with a degree (LICSW or MSW) asks the questions pre-printed in her little notebook. I know I could do a better job at getting the Vet to open up. In fact it was not long ago when in that very scenario the Vet kept looking at me when talking. He knew I was a Vet like him.

This is a GREAT thread and I also hope and pray anyone on this site who needs help to please get it. The stigma of PTSD and other mental health problems is slowly eroding. Sites like SOCNET are a big part of that!!
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  #138  
Old 19 March 2017, 14:33
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I'm posting a link to Brene Brown's Ted Talks. She is a researcher and author. Her work is transforming my life. A SOCOM unit felt so strongly that her work would help leaders become better as well as develop resilience that they invited her to speak to the unit-including family members(I was thrilled to be there) but also to have a one one one with the Command Team. Our unit now has quarterly, two day intensive workshops with her people. Only 12 people per event...it's amazing.

So, I ask for those of you who might Pooh Pooh this sort of thing, I will challenge you to keep an open mind and watch these two videos.

The book I am working through right now is "Daring Greatly" which was given to the participants in the two day seminar.

https://www.ted.com/speakers/brene_brown
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  #139  
Old 19 March 2017, 15:02
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Brene's work is guided/influence by Theodore Roosevelt's speech, now dubbed as "The Man in The Arena." I decided to look up this speech. I'm captured by the paragraph immediately preceding and following the most well know portion:

"Let the man of learning, the man of lettered leisure, beware of that queer and cheap temptation to pose to himself and to others as a cynic, as the man who has outgrown emotions and beliefs, the man to whom good and evil are as one. The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. There are many men who feel a kind of twister pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life's realities - all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. They mark the men unfit to bear their part painfully in the stern strife of living, who seek, in the affection of contempt for the achievements of others, to hide from others and from themselves in their own weakness. The rôle is easy; there is none easier, save only the rôle of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance.


It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Shame on the man of cultivated taste who permits refinement to develop into fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a workaday world. Among the free peoples who govern themselves there is but a small field of usefulness open for the men of cloistered life who shrink from contact with their fellows. Still less room is there for those who deride of slight what is done by those who actually bear the brunt of the day; nor yet for those others who always profess that they would like to take action, if only the conditions of life were not exactly what they actually are. The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic, or fop, or voluptuary. There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm, of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder. Well for these men if they succeed; well also, though not so well, if they fail, given only that they have nobly ventured, and have put forth all their heart and strength. It is war-worn Hotspur, spent with hard fighting, he of the many errors and valiant end, over whose memory we love to linger, not over the memory of the young lord who "but for the vile guns would have been a valiant soldier."
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  #140  
Old 19 March 2017, 18:37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
I just got word that a friend was being treated here at the VA in Tampa for a slew of problems and apparently it overwhelmed him and he took his own life yesterday.

Rest in Pease Brother. DOL

Any of you F'ers feeling overwhelmed, give a brother a call.
Condolences! And if folks don't have anyone to call, have them call the vet center, they will get you help. I work with them through the VTC when I'm tying to get my vet mentees help. I have a mentee who has an other than honorable from the Navy. They even help him. If anyone in Tampa needs a contact number, just hit me up with a PM and I'll put you/them in touch.
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