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  #61  
Old 5 February 2010, 19:11
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In the middle of the night, me and my partner (a female) were waiting to link up with a NG unit to hand receipt a nuke trainer to them. She fell asleep in the vehicle and was wakened by a raccoon finishing off the no-dose in her purse.
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  #62  
Old 5 February 2010, 19:23
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We did an Alien Migrant Interdiction Boarding (AMIO), on a Haitian boat and after we got everybody off, we discovered down below that somebody had brought their goat with them. Animals can't go with us, and we didn't just want to let it drown so my partner and I thought it best to put the goat down in the most humane way possible...to shoot it in the head. So, my partner drew his Beretta, said "RIP", and squeezed one off.

All us non-farm types (my partner and I included) had no idea how thick a goats skull is...apparently, it is thick enough to cause a standard 9mm ball round to ricochet off the goats head and make a hole in the overhead.

After the round bounced off...the damn thing literally "shook it off" and nayed at us, as if to say, "What the fuck was that for!?"

Feeling bad for not getting it right the first time, the second round was in the ear. Still kind of makes me a little sad about it...

ok, I'm over it.

OOC, out
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  #63  
Old 5 February 2010, 20:12
rock1990 rock1990 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Outofcontrol View Post
We did an Alien Migrant Interdiction Boarding (AMIO), on a Haitian boat and after we got everybody off, we discovered down below that somebody had brought their goat with them. Animals can't go with us, and we didn't just want to let it drown so my partner and I thought it best to put the goat down in the most humane way possible...to shoot it in the head. So, my partner drew his Beretta, said "RIP", and squeezed one off.

All us non-farm types (my partner and I included) had no idea how thick a goats skull is...apparently, it is thick enough to cause a standard 9mm ball round to ricochet off the goats head and make a hole in the overhead.

After the round bounced off...the damn thing literally "shook it off" and nayed at us, as if to say, "What the fuck was that for!?"

Feeling bad for not getting it right the first time, the second round was in the ear. Still kind of makes me a little sad about it...

ok, I'm over it.

OOC, out
Awesome story!!!
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  #64  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:03
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOTB View Post
The truth is, I think you're probably right. I've seen deer wander in front of a line of Marines at a range at Camp LeJeune, and that same deer be fine after the entire line unloads on it....
Saw a dog do the same thing in A/stan after an ODA and a couple of contractors opened up on it on the "range".
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  #65  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:08
LadyK71 LadyK71 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wandera View Post
too funny, those Bunyips are killers!

Whenever I'm out with the kids, thats exactly what I tell them. The youngest spends the next 30 minutes craning his neck looking for the ever elusive Bunyip... cracks me up
NOT to mention those bloody Drop Bears...... The teeth on those bastards are enough to tear a grown man apart and yet they just look like a big cuddly Koala.....
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  #66  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:13
Axe Axe is offline
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While out on a canine call-out hot on the trail of an armed robbery suspect, I went through a small farm field. A pig tried to attack me. He decided he didn't like OC at all.

As a cop in a then-suburban Oregon town being overrun with former California city folk, I responded to countless "wild animal in my yard" calls.

"Yes. That is a wild animal in your yard."

"What is it? It's a porcupine/skunk/nutria/hedgehog."

"I'm not going to do anything about it. It seems to be minding its own business. It isn't acting strangely or looking rabid. If you leave it alone, it will leave you alone. Just stay away from it and it'll probably leave within an hour or so."


I also once got dispatched to a call for a Rat in a toilet. Our town, like most I suppose, had sewer rats, and sometimes they would work their way through the plumbing and pop up in people's toilets looking for freedom.

The homeowner,a guy in his 40's, said he saw the rat in his toilet, had no idea what to do about it, and figured he would call the police.

I walked in, lifted the lid on the john, and sure enough, there was a pretty good sized rat swimming circles in the bowl. I told the homeowner I could take care of the problem, unsnapped my holster and made the motions as if I were going to draw leather and shoot the rat right there inside the guys toilet.

The guy's eyes got as big as saucers, and he started backpedaling from an expected explosion of gunfire, porcelain, and water. I chuckled and told him, "Just kidding".

I thought it out for a minute and asked him if he had a shovel and a cardboard box. He did, and loaned them to my partner and I. My trainee held the box and I scooped the rat from the toilet into the box with the shovel.

We then brought the rat out to the sewer treatment plant and let it go so it could repeat the cycle.

We thought about putting the rat in the desk drawer of the detective who did all of our IA investigations, but figured he might not see the humor in it like we did.

Last edited by Axe; 5 February 2010 at 21:16.
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  #67  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:18
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X-rgr X-rgr is offline
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I always get a lot of mileage out of this story:

We were in a small country in Central America, a long time ago, doing a 2 day movement through virgin jungle. Razor-grass, machetes, the whole nine-yards. Take one step. Stop. Wait. Take one step. Repeat.

At one point the sign came back for a rope-bridge. I was a 90mm gunner, and had been assigned to the far-side security element, so I started the process of rigging my M67 for a rope-bridge crossing. I was traveling about 2/3 back in a company-sized element with the APL (1LT Townes).

Pop. pop. pop-pop-pop-pop. Two M16s were up ahead opening up on something. Then two more. Then a saw. Then two M60s started "talking".

I untied the slingrope and said to the LT "Send me up there! I'll clean the fucking jungle out!" I had an APERs round in the tube.

The LT just knelt there listening to something on his radio handset, ignoring me.

So, I grabbed the gun to go up front and mow down some jungle.

The LT calmly looked at me and said "Rig for a ropebridge... and hurry up."

So, while the shooting was slowing down to just an occasional pop, I re-rigged my gun, bitching the whole time "Who the fuck is running this rodeo? We're going to do a rope bridge under fire? What the FUCK!" I finished rigging and hustled up to the edge of the river.

I don't know how big it was, but I heard that the dead bushmaster lying in the mud (leaking from hundreds of bullet-holes) on the bank of the river was 22 feet. In the middle it was as big as a truck- tire inner-tube. One of our guys skinned it and humped the skin out. The skin was the size of a rolled-up sleeping bag.

I wondered why I didn't hear anyone shooting back.
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  #68  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:35
LadyK71 LadyK71 is offline
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I have cracked up at some of these stories and I find it amusing so many of the American stories are whilst O/S and yet most of ours (Aussies) are HERE....

I was on a promotion course and we were patrolling through Canungra. Well I'm sure they thought we were meant to be running we were going that fast - we had to wait 2 1/2 hours BEFORE going into the OP we were that quick! Anyway.... We sit down for a moment and I grab my water bottle. Then I went to shuffle back into the shade when I realised I was about to put my hand on a friggin curled up snake. WELL I SHIT MYSELF and could not move. I was TRYING to say 'snake' but nothing like that was coming out and I just looked like I had gone troppo and loopy or something.... Eventually some of the others come running over to me at which point I yell STOP...By this stage the bastard thing was awake and about to crawl OVER me.... One of the guys clearly trying to 'reassure the now socked patient' (LOL) says "Oh it's OK, it's a python, they kill by stangulation rather than biting".... I'M ONLY LITTLE, YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!! Eventually one of the guys grabs my hand and reefs me in the air and I land on the opposite side of him (I DID say I was only little).... ALL I knew was this bastard snake was about to crawl over me and I was NOT HAPPY JAN at all! lol

The next promotion course I also did at Canungra once again snake time... this time the bastard thing came flying at me along the ground and it was a King Brown. Pft.

Both times I ended up with a tick in my head also - the first one I realised after going to ground and the radio hitting me in the head and then I felt something MOVE in my head! Obviously the tick felt the same way about being wacked with the radio (the old 77 sets) as I did.....

Stinking Canungra!

LadyK
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  #69  
Old 5 February 2010, 21:39
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eltrane eltrane is offline
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I just had a AIT memory surface of getting basically overrun by Ft. Benning wildlife after we set the woodline of the range on fire during M60 familiarization. Don't remember the range name, but the woodline wrapped around to the right, as one fires downrange. Also, this range seemed a lot nicer than the others I had previously been to.

Tracers did their job and like some kind of crazy disney movie; rabbits, a deer or two, and other four legged types I didn't get a chance to recognize just hauled ass out of the woodline and that is where my platoon was sitting waiting for a shot at shooting the pig.

I remember the senior drill sergeant looking at the animals in a pissed off way that still cracks me up when I think of it.
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  #70  
Old 5 February 2010, 22:48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RangerCharlie View Post
Skeeters, tiny little buzz in your ear and suck your blood types no matter how much deet you have on.
You left out those horse flies that were as big as your thumb and you could hear flying around from about 30 yards away. They generally didn't bother me, but I had bad experiences with a similar type in Illinois.

Javelinas at Huachuca were a trip. They could haul ass and I swear I saw a couple bound up about 3 feet and out about 8. It's like their legs were spring loaded.
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  #71  
Old 5 February 2010, 22:57
Princeps Belli Princeps Belli is offline
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I just want to put in a disclaimer: I love dogs. In Iraq however, the dogs tend to be like mutant hybrid beasts. Some of them are cool, but the roving packs can be a bit nasty. Plus, they make a lot of noise at night, and when you are five guys trying to maintain a semi tactical presence, well, the dogs are a bit annoying to say the least. Anyway, we had our weapons suppressed, and one in particular was pretty daring, so I popped it right in the leg. It yelped and started its E&E, but the pack didn't seem to like the little hobble run of one of its members, so they began attacking it mercilessly. Fitting for Iraqi dogs. They probably take after their owners.
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  #72  
Old 6 February 2010, 01:04
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Summer of 90, gulf of Mexico....doing some water survival training; I am the last guy to get plucked out of the water. I look up to the helo and they are all furiously pointing to my left....holy sheeit...all I see are three dorsal fins headed my way. Turns out they were dolphins...haha


Early Spring of 91 near Corpus Christi, I take my 4wd blazer about 40 miles past the 4wd only sign. Anyway, I get tired of driving, so, I set up my Hibachi, grab a brew out of the cooler and commence to shooting at crabs my dog is chasing with my .44 and a MAC-11. I see the coals are ready, so I toss the elk steaks on and decide to take an ocean swim. Then I swim further. Come back, down another beer or two, clean up my mess and go for one last swim. At night. Pack up my junk and head home. The next weekend there was a notice in the paper where a guy had caught a 9.5 and and 11 foot tiger shark off the beach less than 2 miles from where I had gone swimming. Next week I told my CG buddies about that so they offered to fly me over that area. Lots of grey shaped thingies in the water cured me from any more ocean swims.


Spring of 91 near Corpus Christi. I am out in the bay going after some rockfish in just about waist deep water when I feel a scraping/tearing sensation on my right calf. Thought maybe I stepped on a brick or got stung by a jellyfish. Got out of the water, put my gear up and noticed a horseshoe shape series of puncture/ bite marks on my right calf. Never even saw the little turd.



Summer of 97 outside of Fallon, NV. We are doing a crew swap on a -60. PIC remains in bird, the rest of us get out to pee. Myself and a crewman waddle over to the nearest cliff and decide to piss off the rocks. We lift off; less than 20 from where we were are a momma bear and two cubs.
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  #73  
Old 6 February 2010, 09:49
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One word: Camel spiders. :) Almost lost my leg to one in Afghanistan.

ETA: Alright, Camel spider is two words, but you get my point. :D
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  #74  
Old 6 February 2010, 15:26
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Almighty Bones Almighty Bones is offline
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I remember one time out on missions in Afghanistan, we set up for the night near a huge pile of rocks. The guys keeping watch for the night were on top of this huge rock formation as it gave them a 360 degree elevated view of our area. I had a humvee with an artic back on it. I had just pulled out the Iridium to make some communications and had my feet dangling out the back door, when a long black object slithered between my boots and just kept on trucking down through the rocks. I never was able to tell what kind of snake it was, but I knew it wasnt one i'd want to mess with. Probably a good 6+ feet long. I quickly pulled up the stairs shut the door and didnt go back out until daylight.
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  #75  
Old 6 February 2010, 16:48
mrwill mrwill is offline
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Quote:
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Ah, Ft. Stewart.

Armadillos running over you while you slept. Boars running across live ranges.
Ha!! That exact thing happened to me at Benning. Sleeping in a swampy area at 3 AM with only a poncho over me while it downpoured...then a giant frigging Armadillo stomped right down my body starting with me head then proceeding at a run down my body. Weird.

The scariest thing was being awakened by a coyote that howled extremely loud 3 feet away from me at Fort Irwin while I was trying to sleep out in the box. They are for the most part harmless, but damn are they loud at 2 AM....
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  #76  
Old 6 February 2010, 16:50
mrwill mrwill is offline
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Not to mention the translucent scorpion at Irwin ( it had been somewhere dark and lost its color) that was crawling on my shoulder. It was a moment of pure amazement as we watched it crawl and then the reality took hold. I have never seen a ninja move as quick as me swatting it off my shoulder...
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  #77  
Old 6 February 2010, 20:53
LibraryLady LibraryLady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PanaVet View Post
... Things you should NEVER f*ck w/ in Panama...

Killer bees:
Trust me there is nothing more terrifying than to be in the assault position on a raid LFX and get hit by a swarm of killer bees with no where to run but, towards the obj while the SBF is still hammering it. I thank GOD that the SBF saw us in time to cease. You haven't seen an "everyman for himself" mentality until you see a group of men running from killer bees...
Amen.

1985 - Operation Kindle Liberty. Back of nowhere in Panama. Ended up with a photographer with us from the big city for a couple days. He got the below shots as we prepared to commence business and then took off for less smelly surroundings. About an hour into giving these little guys shots, the captain was loading syringes, the terp was off finding us food, and I'm in the corral next to the snubbing post pulling out another syringe as the vaqueros get ready to bring another down for me. Next thing I know, they're all running out of the corral and hollering at me. I can't understand, too many shouts, but they're pointing. Guess what I see? And me... stuck in the middle of a corral full of ornery ol' critters. I survived, only cuz at the last minute the swarm changed direction. Took awhile to calm all the critters down so we could get back to business.

LL

ps Yes, guys, you're seeing correctly - the vet tech AND the vet are both females.
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  #78  
Old 6 February 2010, 21:18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraryLady
Yes, guys, you're seeing correctly - the vet tech AND the vet are both females.
So umm, err, well -- afterwards, did you two console each other? And umm, if you did, were you hugging? And, ahem -- did you guys....
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  #79  
Old 6 February 2010, 21:37
LibraryLady LibraryLady is offline
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Originally Posted by SOTB View Post
So umm, err, well -- afterwards, did you two console each other? And umm, if you did, were you hugging? And, ahem -- did you guys....
Riiiight. If that's how your reality wants it played, then who am I to interfere? Just let me know if your reality gets out of hand, I'm sure we can send the guys with the pretty white jacket to your locale.

She laughed at me because I wasn't paying attention. Too boot in my E&E of all the horned ones, I ended up losing my cap, and I left it where it lay, cuz I wasn't to attempt to clean the defectory material it was smeared with. Alls, I gots to say is, that's the day I learned that bruised ribs/hip/thigh are no fun!

LL
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  #80  
Old 6 February 2010, 22:50
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No animal ever treated me as savagely as poison ivy.



Except those ground bees in mountain phase...
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