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  #1  
Old 23 October 2011, 13:03
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Thumbs down Melancholia -- or -- Lost portion of my life and no idea of why/what happened....

Fuck. Women kill me. My wife has been begging to buy the On Demand viewing of this fucking horrible movie. Today she went ahead and did it, using my supposed hurting her back in a morning wrestling match as justification.

My Self -- what a horrible movie. And what is worse? She thought it was great!?

Nothing made this movie worthwhile. Not even the momentary viewing of Kirsten Dunst's boobs -- and BTW, without makeup, that chick is at a serious disadvantage with gals around her.

Guys -- even if your gal promises you anal sex, even if you really did injure her back while wrestling -- do yourselves a favor and skip this. Don't watch it at the theater. Don't watch it On Demand. Don't watch it on some insomnia-generated moment of weakness on HBO. Thankfully, you won't ever find this on Spike TV.

DON'T WATCH IT....
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  #2  
Old 23 October 2011, 13:31
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It's a Lars von Trier movie, SOTB. You should have known better Von Trier directed some good movies in the past, but he seems to be out of fresh ideas lately.

Anyways: I did not like the movie either, FWIW.
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  #3  
Old 23 October 2011, 15:37
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I tried to watch American Loser last night with the GF. I made it to about the 15 min mark before I hit eject and took it back to the RedBox machine. If it was worse than that I am surprised you didnt eat your Glock.
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Old 23 October 2011, 18:23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOTB View Post
Guys -- even if your gal promises you anal sex -- do yourselves a favor and skip this. DON'T WATCH IT....
Wow, it must be a pretty bad movie....
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  #5  
Old 23 October 2011, 19:19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharky
If it was worse than that I am surprised you didnt eat your Glock.
The thought of my last memory being that of this horrible movie was enough to prevent me from taking that path.

I did give some consideration to using it on either the TV or the wife, but the TV was fricking expensive and does a great job showing flicks for guys, American Dad, Fringe, and The Big Bang Theory -- and the wife made chicken and dumplings -- so insidethehouse gunfire was avoided, for today....
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  #6  
Old 23 October 2011, 21:44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOTB View Post
Not even the momentary viewing of Kirsten Dunst's boobs -- and BTW, without makeup, that chick is at a serious disadvantage with gals around her.
Kirsten Dunst is "ok" on her best day. NOt sure why any guys would actually be attracted to her...sure she's skinny but that's about it...

Now go and watch "Antichrist"...and come back with your verdict for the director
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  #7  
Old 10 May 2012, 18:58
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On Netflix.

Avoid, avoid, avoid at all costs. What is it about Norse countries and their preoccupation with melancholy and depression? I guess when you're six months without sun you get sad.

Fuck it, spoiler alert be damned. The principles are in a state of sadness when they realize the fucking planet is about to be destroyed.

Suprisingly, there are some loons out there who think this will happen this year. Google Nibiru if you want to check out their rantings.
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Old 10 May 2012, 19:05
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His next movie is entitled The Nymphomaniac. A two parter, according to IMDB.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1937390/
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  #9  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElleGirl
Wow, it must be a pretty bad movie....
Yes. THAT bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justaclerk
Avoid, avoid, avoid at all costs....
Dude, are my movie reviews that questionable? What would possibly give you reason for watching this movie? Well, if you are posting afterwards, you must have survived it -- although if some dude comes up to me, all scarred on his hands, arms, and face and tells me that it really isn't a good idea to siphon fuel and play with a lighter at the same time -- I'm going to probably believe him. Too bad you had to suffer....
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  #10  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:15
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Was it as bad as "Australia"?

FWIW here's my review of that flick:

http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/...-australia.htm
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  #11  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:15
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I was going to post a warning...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SOTB View Post
Yes. THAT bad.
Dude, are my movie reviews that questionable? What would possibly give you reason for watching this movie? Well, if you are posting afterwards, you must have survived it -- although if some dude comes up to me, all scarred on his hands, arms, and face and tells me that it really isn't a good idea to siphon fuel and play with a lighter at the same time -- I'm going to probably believe him. Too bad you had to suffer....
...but I remembered to hit the search function first. Found your post and then reemphasized your review just in case KidA decided to check it out on the Flix.
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Death is a farcical pile of bullshit.

I refuse to participate.

The Oatmeal
Quote:
...it could be raining pu$$y and troops will complain and blame the leadership for not providing an equal ration of a$$holes

Billy L-Bach
Quote:
In Special Forces we had a saying: "Work hard in silence, let your success do the talking."

Tracy
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  #12  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justaclerk View Post
...but I remembered to hit the search function first. Found your post and then reemphasized your review just in case KidA decided to check it out on the Flix.
Since it is on NETFLIX Instant can someone tell me about what time in the movie I get to see boobs so I can just FFD to that part and hit pause?
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  #13  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:23
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Just scroll through....

Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA View Post
Since it is on NETFLIX Instant can someone tell me about what time in the movie I get to see boobs so I can just FFD to that part and hit pause?
....you'll see a buck nekkid Dunst in repose staring longingly, longingly I tells ya, at the death planet.
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Quote:
Death is a farcical pile of bullshit.

I refuse to participate.

The Oatmeal
Quote:
...it could be raining pu$$y and troops will complain and blame the leadership for not providing an equal ration of a$$holes

Billy L-Bach
Quote:
In Special Forces we had a saying: "Work hard in silence, let your success do the talking."

Tracy
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  #14  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA
....I get to see boobs so I can just FFD to that part and hit pause?
You're so GAY. Just Google her boobs and be done with it -- that way you don't pay for a stupid movie, run the risk of stabbing yourself with multiple sharp instruments, and you see boobs that really aren't that spectacular which prevents you from having to pay (again)....
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  #15  
Old 10 May 2012, 19:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA View Post
Was it as bad as "Australia"?

FWIW here's my review of that flick:

http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/...-australia.htm
You WATCHED it?!?!

The ads / trailers were enough to make me want to vomit.
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  #16  
Old 11 May 2012, 07:56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nofear View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by KidA View Post
Was it as bad as "Australia"?

FWIW here's my review of that flick:

http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/...-australia.htm
You WATCHED it?!?!

The ads / trailers were enough to make me want to vomit.
I made it through less than the first 90 seconds of that movie, after copying it off the movie server while deployed. How the hell did you watch the whole thing?
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  #17  
Old 11 May 2012, 11:07
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Yes, I was suckered into watching this movie with the promise of my girlfriend and I doing some tussling in the bed afterwards, needless to say 10 minutes into this thing I wanted beat myself silly with the closest blunt object. To add insult to injury after this crap flick was over, she wants to have a talk fest about the movie. Needless to say, I gave my honest opinion which led to her storming out of the house and me holding a bottle of Vaseline wondering WTF was the matter.
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  #18  
Old 11 May 2012, 11:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baildog View Post
I made it through less than the first 90 seconds of that movie, after copying it off the movie server while deployed. How the hell did you watch the whole thing?
I paid to see it in the theater. I am a sucker for epics and had high hopes.

After the $9 ticket and another $11.50 for popcorn and a coke no fucking way was I walking out.

I may have slept in the theater though
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