SOCNET

Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #81  
Old 20 September 2019, 10:36
WGH0922 WGH0922 is online now
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,277
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarc88 View Post
This is EXACTLY my area!

To my Division Officer at Navy Dive Sch (CWO4 hardhat diver and former Senior Chief Bosun) "Get off my ass, you Judas Iscariot mfer. You already took your 30 pieces of silver to buy your way out of the Chief's Mess, and the Officer's Mess definitely doesn't want you. You better just kiss my dick while you can". To be fair, I started running as soon as I said that. He was a big, burly bruiser with a typical Boatswains Mate attitude. I respected the shit out of that guy and would swim thru a pack of great whites for him.

To a former PLT CDR "Sir, do you know what the root word of Officer is? It's OFFICE. Now go back to yours and let the men do their fuckin work. You're no JM, and certainly don't have a letter of designation from the CO. I do, and it says that I'm the Airborne Mission Commander today". He was a great guy, just new. I'm seeing him this year and can't wait.

To my current boss during my annual review this year "How can you help? I'm glad you asked that, Matt. There are 2 types of workers here - Earners and Burners. I'm an Earner. I bring money into this organization. So when the organization wants some of my time, like that bullshit brief you signed me up for, the ppl who actually pay me, come first. You can help me by remembering that I personally hire 5 govt and 35 contractors here, and every cent of that gets taxed for this branch." He's actually a good guy, former SWO and has about 20yrs of corporate mgt on him from REAL bottom line orgs like Home Depot and Target. I halfway think he's wasting his time as a GS.
Jones or Carpenter?
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 20 September 2019, 14:26
Sharky's Avatar
Sharky Sharky is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: SOCNET
Posts: 20,508
One out of a thousand of these stories I could tell...

I was working for Gsniper at Camp Robinson probably 1995-ish. In the National Guard they have these strange things called "Technicians". I honestly dont understand how it works but they are CWOs who work on vehicles and shit like that. For some reason at the time they were allowed to wear their BDU pants unbloused and down over their boots which made them look like a bag of shit.

So, Sharky is walking out of the Main PX at Camp Robinson, minding his own fucking business, when some CW4 starts yelling at me about my Oakleys are not authorized in uniform. This dude has his BDU pants unbloused over his boots, his hair was way beyond 670-1, his mustache looked like catfish hunter, he looked like he was 6 months pregnant, his boots were trashed etc.....and he is bitching about my sunglasses.

So, Sharky did what Sharky does in such a situation. I pointed the knifehand at him and in my best imitation of CSM Purdy I started at his head and worked my way down....It went something like...

Tell you what, CHIEF.

When you

-Get that BDU cap off the back of your fucking head
-get a haircut
-trim that fucking excuse for a mustache
-iron your fucking uniform
-lose 50 lbs
-blouse your boots
-and shine your fucking boots

THEN I might give a flying fuck what your opinion is about my sunglasses. Until then, how about you worry more about unfucking yourself and less about everyone else.

Have a nice day, CHIEF.

And I walked off. I thought the dude was going to have a heart attack. People had actually stopped to watch the exchange because I was knifehanding him and I was fucking loud about it.

As soon as I drove the 5 min to MTU and walked into the building someone says "The Colonel just said he needs to see you as soon as you come in the building".
__________________
I was born my papa's son
When I hit the ground I was on the run
I had one glad hand and the other behind
You can have yours, just give me mine
When the hound dog barkin' in the black of the night
Stick my hand in my pocket, everything's all right

-ZZ Top
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 20 September 2019, 15:07
Attila175 Attila175 is offline
BTDT
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Too far
Posts: 1,721
Civilian job. Bosses were at work by 6am. I was expected to be there by 7. One day I am cutting it close when I pull into the parking lot. I see my department manager's reserved parking spot right next to the door isn't taken and I know he is in Germany. I park there and make it just in time.
Two minutes later my immediate supervisor comes in and starts screaming "WHEN THE DEPARTMENT MANAGER IS GONE, ONLY I CAN PARK IN HIS SPACE!!!!".
I calmly replied "I'm sorry, I thought someone in your position would already have been here".
She shut up and walked away. Later she apolagized
__________________
RLTW
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 20 September 2019, 15:35
1RiserSlip's Avatar
1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Po Dunk, WV
Posts: 6,888
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharky View Post
One out of a thousand of these stories I could tell...

I was working for Gsniper at Camp Robinson probably 1995-ish. In the National Guard they have these strange things called "Technicians". I honestly dont understand how it works but they are CWOs who work on vehicles and shit like that. For some reason at the time they were allowed to wear their BDU pants unbloused and down over their boots which made them look like a bag of shit.

So, Sharky is walking out of the Main PX at Camp Robinson, minding his own fucking business, when some CW4 starts yelling at me about my Oakleys are not authorized in uniform. This dude has his BDU pants unbloused over his boots, his hair was way beyond 670-1, his mustache looked like catfish hunter, he looked like he was 6 months pregnant, his boots were trashed etc.....and he is bitching about my sunglasses.

So, Sharky did what Sharky does in such a situation. I pointed the knifehand at him and in my best imitation of CSM Purdy I started at his head and worked my way down....It went something like...

Tell you what, CHIEF.

When you

-Get that BDU cap off the back of your fucking head
-get a haircut
-trim that fucking excuse for a mustache
-iron your fucking uniform
-lose 50 lbs
-blouse your boots
-and shine your fucking boots

THEN I might give a flying fuck what your opinion is about my sunglasses. Until then, how about you worry more about unfucking yourself and less about everyone else.

Have a nice day, CHIEF.

And I walked off. I thought the dude was going to have a heart attack. People had actually stopped to watch the exchange because I was knifehanding him and I was fucking loud about it.

As soon as I drove the 5 min to MTU and walked into the building someone says "The Colonel just said he needs to see you as soon as you come in the building".
Ha! CSM Purdy.

To pregnant female 0-4.

"Ma'am, I'd rather suck a dick than wear BDU's with tennis shoes".
__________________
I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody...

Karl Childers
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 20 September 2019, 15:36
cedsall's Avatar
cedsall cedsall is offline
giving you a number
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 562
I was pushing some paper through a higher HQ. The underlying op was already approved, heading out the following day. The paper was for a supporting op but the work was already completed by the supporting agency so we're just crossing Ts and dotting Is. The fellow (GS15) who needs to get the General's signature says "How about I don't take this to the General?"

It's late in the afternoon, I've got to fight DC traffic back out of town so I look at him and say "Al, the op is approved, it's leaving tomorrow morning so I don't give a shit if this is signed or not. You're just a petty bureaucrat so do whatever you think is best." Then left.

Got back to the unit and my boss let me know I was now PNG at that HQ for at least a couple months - the edict had come down from our command group so I'm guessing the phone call came while I was driving back. The boss asked me what I'd said and laughed when I told him so life remained good.
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 20 September 2019, 15:37
Justaclerk's Avatar
Justaclerk Justaclerk is offline
Drawing my cutlass
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Florida
Posts: 8,190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharky View Post
Story that kept me laughing for five minutes.
Why do I think that the vast majority of these anecdotes involve a knife hand at some point?
__________________
Quote:
Death is a farcical pile of bullshit.

I refuse to participate.

The Oatmeal
Quote:
...it could be raining pu$$y and troops will complain and blame the leadership for not providing an equal ration of a$$holes

Billy L-Bach
Quote:
In Special Forces we had a saying: "Work hard in silence, let your success do the talking."

Tracy
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 20 September 2019, 16:04
grog18b's Avatar
grog18b grog18b is offline
Clorox bearer for SOTB
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Finally back to my 203 range
Posts: 4,007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justaclerk View Post
Why do I think that the vast majority of these anecdotes involve a knife hand at some point?
...and Oakleys...
__________________
"....As far as "rights" are concerned... I look at them this way. I don't tell you what church to go to, and you don't tell me what kind of firearm I can own." GROG

If gun control laws controlled crime, we wouldn't need cops.
Quote:
Finally, I believe that punishing lawful gun owners by creating new, more onerous laws, and restricting Constitutionally guaranteed rights, when we already don't enforce the tens of thousands of gun laws we have on the books, is like beating your dog because the neighbor's dog shit in your yard.
"The Reaper"
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 20 September 2019, 19:29
Gsniper Gsniper is online now
Shakin' the bush Boss
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,390
Sharky was an E4 with three oak leaf clusters.
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 20 September 2019, 21:28
Sharky's Avatar
Sharky Sharky is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: SOCNET
Posts: 20,508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gsniper View Post
Sharky was an E4 with three oak leaf clusters.
You asshole..... You just made me spit beer on the floor of the bar. Bartender thought I was dying.... LOL
__________________
I was born my papa's son
When I hit the ground I was on the run
I had one glad hand and the other behind
You can have yours, just give me mine
When the hound dog barkin' in the black of the night
Stick my hand in my pocket, everything's all right

-ZZ Top
Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 20 September 2019, 21:34
Sharky's Avatar
Sharky Sharky is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: SOCNET
Posts: 20,508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justaclerk View Post
Why do I think that the vast majority of these anecdotes involve a knife hand at some point?


You have no idea.... LOL

Only two days ago I told my CEO "look if you want to do my fucking job then you need to take a pay cut. If you are gonna be the CEO then get back in your office and CEO shit." He went to his office. I'm not sure sometimes how I keep a job.


PS: He is a new CEO. The last CEO was the former CDR of C Sqdn at CAG. He didnt get in my business and I respect him greatly.
__________________
I was born my papa's son
When I hit the ground I was on the run
I had one glad hand and the other behind
You can have yours, just give me mine
When the hound dog barkin' in the black of the night
Stick my hand in my pocket, everything's all right

-ZZ Top
Reply With Quote
  #91  
Old 20 September 2019, 21:35
Gsniper Gsniper is online now
Shakin' the bush Boss
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,390
Competent, but controversial. LOL
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 20 September 2019, 22:22
bobofthedesert's Avatar
bobofthedesert bobofthedesert is offline
RIP SOTB, Cass, Hognose
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Middle of the Mojave
Posts: 4,231
This is a great thread......
__________________
RIP Stevie D. 1964-2012
U.S. Army Veteran of OIF 2003
"Gone But Never Forgotten"

"Let us return to old times and that will be progress." - Verdi
Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 20 September 2019, 22:31
Akheloce Akheloce is offline
Six Minutes!
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Alaska
Posts: 586
SIDE TRACK!!!

Technicians in the Guard are military members paid as WG or GS civilians. Since Congress sets the military manpower numbers, Technicians are the loophole for dudes to do the job outside of the uniformed strength numbers set by Congress. They are however REQUIRED to meet military standards (ie. height weight, UNIFORM). While on the job, a technician can perform duties outside the MOS, IAW the civilian equivalent job title. However they are always required to maintain military uniform and standards. There are many technicians who fancy themselves as above the UCMJ (and they kinda are). But they still must maintain military standards given dress/appearance, and conduct. ( I was a guard technician).
__________________
RIP Sitka 43 and ICY 33

Seven … six … eleven … five … nine-an’-twenty mile today
Four … eleven … seventeen … thirty-two the day before —

"Just remember son, 80% of the people in this world are fucking idiots"- My Dad
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 21 September 2019, 08:36
Stopp700's Avatar
Stopp700 Stopp700 is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northeast
Posts: 2,290
^^^^^^
New way around all that 'required to meet Military Standards" stuff, Title 5. Same guys doing the same stuff but now as a Civilian. Wearing beards, long hair and wearing civilian clothes. All looking like crap.
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 21 September 2019, 16:56
MakoZeroSix's Avatar
MakoZeroSix MakoZeroSix is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 8,074
I probably have many, but the one that jumps out in my mind is standing in formation at Ft. Myer back in 1992 as a private in the Old Guard and some NCO was haranguing us about some bullshit and making outlandish threats and I go: "Pssssssshhhhh!" really loud, and he freaks the fuck out and starts running around the ranks screaming "Who did it! Who sprung a fucking leak! I'll END you!"

Good times.
__________________
Quote:
The history of the world is the history of war between secret societies"
- Robert Anton Wilson, "The Illuminatus Trilogy"
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 21 September 2019, 18:16
grog18b's Avatar
grog18b grog18b is offline
Clorox bearer for SOTB
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Finally back to my 203 range
Posts: 4,007
That would have been a great time to ask him to eat a Snickers...
__________________
"....As far as "rights" are concerned... I look at them this way. I don't tell you what church to go to, and you don't tell me what kind of firearm I can own." GROG

If gun control laws controlled crime, we wouldn't need cops.
Quote:
Finally, I believe that punishing lawful gun owners by creating new, more onerous laws, and restricting Constitutionally guaranteed rights, when we already don't enforce the tens of thousands of gun laws we have on the books, is like beating your dog because the neighbor's dog shit in your yard.
"The Reaper"
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 21 September 2019, 23:16
Ranger Manges's Avatar
Ranger Manges Ranger Manges is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: looking for a place that sucks
Posts: 3,157
I was a PLT TAC at ROTC advanced camp. Pick up day for Cadets as they come in from the airport. An EXTREMELY well endowed young lady with a tight Tee shirt and no bra is assigned to my PLT. Female BN CDR pulls me over and says "CPT Manges, do you see that? I want you to personally ensure all your female Cadets are wearing a bra every day. I reply "Roger that Ma'am, my plan to execute that order is to line them up every morning, order shirts up...Your good...your good and go down the line". She stomped off and never talked to me again the rest of the summer
__________________
"Poor is the nation that has no heroes, but shameful is the nation that has heroes and forgets them."

Rules of the Regt
If it makes sense....don't do it
If it tastes good.....spit it out
If you think you're going the right way........turn around
This place sucks.....let's live here
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 22 September 2019, 14:49
Michael A. Michael A. is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: LZ Backyard FSB The House
Posts: 40
Not Disrespectful as much as a GOTCHA

CQ in DaNang 0001 brings a new month and a CEOI Change. The Country-Wide EOD net lights up with a line unit checking in and establishing COMMS. Its not hard to figure out who the ‘higher’ is call them and ask if they realize that they are an already allocated frequency. Silence for several minutes. This scenario is repeated several times and I finally if they realize that 95:00 FM is someone else’s frequency. Now they want to talk and request a Land- Line which I provide. Phone rings and I have a Cpt. Threating mw with an Article 15 or worse for a COMSEC violation. I point out that this is the Country-Wide unclassified EOD frequency. He tells me that there is no such thing. I ask him if he has a copy of the 80th General Support Phone Book. He does and I call his attention to the bottom right hand corner of the inside cover. His last words: Mo-Foing Shit. CLICK

Fast forward three years. I ran into this guy, he was an active duty advisor, to a NG unit we were supporting. He remembered the incident and was still pissed. I think we set the in-country record at about 20 minutes for a mandatory frequency change.
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 24 September 2019, 04:51
nofear's Avatar
nofear nofear is offline
Legal Immigrant
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Australia-based
Posts: 3,285
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferryman View Post
Because right or wrong is just, meh.
Happy to discuss the merits of a non-US national govt demanding non-US state govts conduct statistical exercises, allowed by both law and national constitution of that land, that do not infringe on any rights of people in that non-US nation....over a beer.

Am also happy to discuss how that same country has been raised to believe the Govt is a benevolent entity made of infallible people...and why I'm moving my family to the US to get away from that attitude.

Might need 2 beers.
__________________
"Amateurs train until they get it right. Professionals train until they can't get it wrong." - Unknown
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 24 September 2019, 07:24
1RiserSlip's Avatar
1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Po Dunk, WV
Posts: 6,888
Quote:
Originally Posted by nofear View Post
Happy to discuss the merits of a non-US national govt demanding non-US state govts conduct statistical exercises, allowed by both law and national constitution of that land, that do not infringe on any rights of people in that non-US nation....over a beer.

Am also happy to discuss how that same country has been raised to believe the Govt is a benevolent entity made of infallible people...and why I'm moving my family to the US to get away from that attitude.

Might need 2 beers.

Nothing personal NF. Just fucking with your Country's foolish laws.

Now, come over here and fix ours.
__________________
I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody...

Karl Childers
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 17:24.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
© SOCNET 1996-2018